Re: Support forum for women in troubled relationships -- Maryland Classifieds

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Date Posted: 22:51:09 10/27/02 Sun
Author: Courtney
Subject: Re: Support forum for women in troubled relationships

I have been a victim of abuse in my life and abandonment. Growing in this environment led to depression, led to low self esteem, and looking out to men to give me the love I couldn't give myself. Going through many a bad men, I finally found one that really felt good. He has been my companion for the past year and a half. During this time I had a time where we were seperated and I ended up making mistakes I shouldn't have. I really hurt my man. We are back together now, everything has been better than ever. These past few weeks he has been unusually cruel and a real jerk! He says these things that just hurt and I don't know what to think or feel. I don't come home like I used to, I find myself staying out later and trying to ignor him because I don't know how to deal with this or how to talk to him. I am really feeling hurt and alone, I feel that if I reach out to him he is just going to get frustrated and I don't want to fight any more! we sat together on the beach the other night and I tried to tell him, we had a great talk and I thought we made some really great progress. We decided to see a counselor, he has healing to do from the hurt I caused him. He's affraid I am going to leave him. Well yesterday we ended up right back where we were. Right when it happened I was leaving for work and by the time I saw him next he wanted to pretend nothing had happened at all. I had such a hard time exposing the vulnerable side to me, having been abused and hurt by the men in my life that were supposed to love me. I got there, that was the only way I was going to get here and back with him, it was the only way I was going to be able to make things right on my side. Now I am scarred and feel like I need to close up again and I don't know what to do. I feel like I am talking to a wall.

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