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Date Posted: 17:09:52 07/21/03 Mon
Author: virtue
Subject: i wish i could be..

every little thing you wanted all the time.
i wish i could be every litte thing you wanted all the time..

i can remember the past like it was yesterday...i can remember the day that my freedom was taken from me, plucked from my fingers and given to somebody else. that was the day that everything that i ever believed in, died. i was only eight when it happened...but something like that...it sticks in your mind...it sticks there even when you want to forget it. i would do anything...anything to forget the horror of that day, of the day when i realized that what i thought was real was only lies all along. i mean, how was i supposed to know that an innocent game of hide and seek with Nirrie was going to get me landed in a cage? a cage! an eight year old, innocent little boy, trapped in a cage like a bloody wild animal...and no matter how much i screamed...nobody came to save me. my super hero never came! Nirrie deserted me...he was always doing that, only coming out when nobody else was around so that everybody thought that i was crazy. but he IS real! he's real god dammit and he never came to rescue me! he was supposed to be the super hero! when they found me, the men laughed when i told them that it was a mistake, that i had parents...that i wasnt supposed to be in a cage. they laughed at me and told me that it'd be my new home...my new family. my new everything. then they beat me until i was so broken that i couldnt cry anymore...they beat me until i had screamed so much that my voice was broken too, and then...then they took all of my remaining life away. that was when i realized that this wasnt just some cruel, heartless joke...this wasnt just the neighborhood bully beating on me because i looked different, and because in my little, isolated town, different meant trouble. this was something bigger, something that i had never seen before because my town wasnt rich...because my town had never seen the likes of these men before...but then again, i dont think that anybody else has ever seen the likes of such horror. i realized that this just wasnt another one of my stories where the super hero would come swooping down and save me from the clutches of evil right in time. i realized then that i had been in the clutches of evil the entire time, because when i looked upon the face of my main torturer, the face contorted with a disgustingly delighted glee...i saw the face of my older brother. from that point on, for the two long years that they had me, i was just a broken boy...nobody could elicit any real responses for me. but screaming, pain, torture...it all became a dull routine. then i realized that they were just training me, teaching me how to deal with the pain...i realized that they were just waiting for a precious point, where i would be broken for good. well, that point never came because i was purchased by a sympathetic woman whom they had stumbled upon...a sympathetic woman that had more money that i could ever count...and it was going to them for me. so that she could save me. she became my angel, my savior, and for not even a half of a year it looked like i would be safe from the painful reality that my older brother promised me would come and get me...but i was wrong. the woman that i had known, loved, and respected, changed so suddenly that i didnt expect it. i was in my morning lessons, they were teaching me how to read, when she came storming in, her beautiful face contorted with jealousy and rage. she picked me up by the arm and dragged me from the room...and once again i experienced a hellacious year of drifting pain and consciousness, and my angel was joined by a devil...he had corrupted her and turned her innocent beauty into a terrible thing. they were going to kill me after that year was up...they were going to kill me and sell me to scientists for thousands of dollars, millions of dollars, even. i was going to die so that they could continue living in a wonderful way, so that they didnt have to live as anything less then the gods themselves. but they didnt get what they wanted, because i got away, but it wasnt like i wanted to get away. at that point, i was too mangled, too broken to care either way if i lived or died. after all, if i died, at least i would not have to endure the pain anymore, if i died...i wouldnt have to acknowledge the fact that i was being punished for something that i just couldnt control. somebody stole me...and...i still dont know who that somebody is, but that somebody took me in the dead of night when i was still broken and half dead from the day's painful routine, and that person saved me. he left me on the steps of Professor Xavier's Institution for the Gifted like an abandoned puppy, and when i woke up there was a cat nuzzling me, licking me, forcing me to face the pain of the day. well, the rest of it you know...they saved me, and have kept me in the institution for about three years now...and so here i am, in a world where there are others like me...where there are people who have differences just like me, and some maybe even with similar experiences...but i still feel so alone. alone in my pain, alone in my own destruction. you see, i...dont look like normal humans...i have the piercing, golden eyes of a feline, the pointed, delicate ears of a white tiger, their intense scent abilities, and their long, slender tail. my hair is like white gold, striped with black, and falls into an unobstructed river to the small of my back...my fallen angel always had loved to brush my hair, even when i was in my own little hell...sometimes, my fallen angel came back to her original self, and sobbing, she would try to make up for her sins, but the damage was already done...she couldnt understand that the pain and the memories would never be released, could not be erased. and so i've been at the insitution for about three years now, and i'm nearing my fifteenth birthday (he's going into sophmore year), but they're never much of a big deal...infact, i dont really know my real birthday anymore, and my guess is as good as any. i just chose a date randomly when they asked me...and its been that for forever...but nobody else knows. nobody else cares to know, and i dont care to tell them. even now i'm isolated from the rest because i'm so afraid of them...even if they might understand, there's always the chance that they wont. there's always the chance that if i tried to play a game of Super Hero with them, they too would disappear, just like Nirrie. oh, and the cat that found me three years ago hasnt left me since then. at first, i tried to get rid of him because i didnt want to be attached to anybody, but after he insisted and pried and would always somehow manage to get back into my dorm room, i had to let him stay in the cradle of my heart, where he's been ever since. i named him Magic, because it was how i came about him, and he's the most beautiful thing that i've ever encountered, even more beautiful then my angel once was. he has this beautiful, long, white gold hair just like me, with a brownish gray color on his ears, his tail, his hind legs, and his front paws. he also has hints of this in his hair...and he's probably the only thing that i've been able to care about for a while. everything else just...is. if i had to choose a side, i'd definitely side with Professor Xavier, because he saved me...because he took me in despite the fact that the only 'power' that i have is the fact that i look sort of like a white tiger and have a slightly enhanced ability to hear, see, and smell...but thats all i have, all i've ever had, besides Nirrie, but he left me too.

sometimes.

(theere are several mysteries about Virtue's past that i'm going to enlighten to you now so that Tiara doesnt kill me if i try to let them loose later. O.o Nirrie is also a mutant, and is, infact, Magic. Virtue's actual power is the ability to morph into any breed in the feline genre and go invisible [felines have stealth, he just has a more advanced ability of stealth], but when he was really little, Nirrie took away his powers [he has the ability to sap powers from up to three people and keep them for as long as he wants to] to keep him from hurting himself, but was too late, which is why Virtue looks like he does. even when/if he gets his original powers back, he will never be able to truly shift back into a normal human being because he has been stuck in this form for almost his entire life and his body just wouldnt be able to tolerate the sudden change. Nirrie was also the one to save Virtue from the conditions, and he had spent that time stalking him, but you'll find out about that in my next post. ^_- i'm Krystal, and you can get me at MistcAngl2@aol.com. mwuhaha)

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evaluation -- .owner., 18:29:02 07/21/03 Mon