Re: My biggest Mistake -- Da Daydream Hot Spot Part II

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Date Posted: 07:03:38 09/22/02 Sun
Author: Lundra
Subject: Re: My biggest Mistake
In reply to: Lundra 's message, "Re: My biggest Mistake" on 07:00:16 09/22/02 Sun

I month later

Omari and i were not talking at all my body was going though alot of changes .Tiny was still with Jarell but they were kind of a little public with it on the tour bus only though i had been writting more thsn ever i had been wrorking on this one song that i felt from the heart eahc day i would try to write a line in the song. i would try to talk to omari but we would always argue. i had been getting real close to this one fan her name was janel she couldn't have kids and she wanted them more then ever but she couldn't produce them. Lately i was always sleepy and tired and not filled with energy like normal i was always burnt out after shows more than ever. Tonight was not going to be any dfferent from anyother the only thing was i was gone try to talk to omari through two waying him i wasn't gone seem sad i was jusr going to tell him the truth.

me omari i'm two waying u because we need to talk about somethings

omari: talk say what you have to say you've already made it clear to me how you feel already

me: see why u always gotta throw shit in my face like that

omari: cause it's true

me: whatever thats the shit i be talking about thats why whenever we do talk we argue

omari: like now... look i'm not going to respind to you anymore

me: look what ever anyway what i was hoping to tell you face to face was that...

me: was that Omari I'm pregnant.. thats all i wanted to tell you iight well i'ma leave you alone so holla

this was no kind of fromt to get him back it was the truth i had secertly taking 5 test and they all had the same results. it was both of our faults if we had used a condom then none of this would have happened but what was done was done and there was nothing we could do to change what we had done. I didn't regret that i would do it again if i could but i messed up that right when i told him all those horrible things when reallt i didn't mean them.

the next day

we had a early show that started at 2:00 p.m. so everyone was up and about for sound check at 2:00 it was show time B2K went on and did a 90 minute energy filled show. meanwhile i was in my dressing room talking to my mama on the phone

mm: but i love you and go out there and do your thing

me: yeah i love you too but look i gotta go i preform in 10 minutes tell everybody i love them ok bye

we hung up i kow i should have told her but i didn't well i couldn't

tiny: you ready to reveal this secert song you been working on.

me: yeah when i go out there and do my thing it's gone be the last song i do it;s very very dear to my heart

tiny: omg you wrote a song about John i can't wait to hear this

me: ha... i can't wait for you to hear it myself you'll be surpised

tiny: uh huh right

me: you will but can i be alone for the rest cause i really need to get my thoughts together

tiny: anything BF i'll see you in a feww oh and i'm proud of you

This was the first time wy bestfriend had ever said something like that to me it made me feel good inside and it made me feel like everything that i had ever done was not in vain I sat down and went over all the songs i was goin to do until there was a knock on the door

me: come in

the door opened and there he was looking finer than ever

mv:you go on in 5 min.

me: thanks... Omari

omari: yeah whats up

lundra: me and you really need to talk after the show cause this can't go on any longer cause inside of me is a baby that needs both parents

omari: so you can say what you say and now you want us to talk later

me: look omari just listen to the last song i do ok and after that you decided weather or not you wanna talk to me but know that i've been trying to make things right with you for a month and it's stressing me out this is the last tim if you don't talk to me tonight then i know that u don't wanna talk anymore and i'll accept that and move on and do what ever i gotta do for my baby cause i can't be being stressed while i'm pregnant u think about everything iight i gotta got do my show

I didn't even turn back around to see the look on his face at this point i was feed up so i really didn't care but then again i did i went backstage and got ready for my show. I started off with I see and ended with Best Friend now was my time to shine i looked to the side of the stage and saw everybody but omari i took that as a sign for me to offically move on

me: hey where my ladies at

they scream

me: ha ha i see ya'll but look have you ever regreted how you acted towards the boy you loved or even the things you said to them

my ladies was all feeling me cause they had been through it too

me: well me to thats why i'm about to sing this song called my biggest mistake i wrote it and i hope ya'll like it go to my website at www. 4lundra.com and tell me what ya'll think but for now are ya'll ready

everybody: yeah

me: i can't hear ya'll i said are ya'll ready

everybody: yeah

me: iight Jay hit the music

i let the music play for 10 sec. for a intro then sing

me: ::singing::
My biggest mistake was telling you I don�t love you
My biggest mistake was telling you I don�t care
My biggest mistake was telling you I don�t need you
When I really wanted you there.

My biggest mistake was walking away from you
My biggest mistake was shutting you out of my life
My biggest mistake was denying my feelings
And now I really want you near.

As I look back on the times we shared I think of how good you treated me
and then I think about how much you was there for me and then it reminds me of...

My biggest mistake was not being there for you
My biggest mistake was not making it right
My biggest mistake was ignoring your feelings
And now I feel so empty inside.

My biggest mistake was being so selfish
My biggest mistake was taking you for granted
My biggest mistake was thinking I could forget you
And all I see is you in my head.

If I could go back and turn the hands of time I would have said I was sorry
and then I�d look you in the eyes and say why I really need you by my side but now ...

My biggest mistake was waiting so long
My biggest mistake was thinking I could be so strong
My biggest mistake was not admitting I was wrong
And now I�m singing this song

My biggest mistake was thinking I could still have you
My biggest mistake was thinking you would allow me back in your life
My biggest mistake was thinking that you really missed me
And now my bad Karma is coming back.

I�m sorry.

everybody got up and was just gong crazy i felt good inside if he didn't get it by now then hey i wasn't worried about it . i said goodbye to all the people that came out and should this tour love and went on back to my dressing room to change clothes tiny came in there and was telling me how much she loved the song but that it didn't have anything to do with John and i that when i had to tell her the biz i told her and she was shock but she was still my best friend and she was showing me surport. After we left everybody went go to eat i just stayed on the bus cause i was too sick to go anywhere. I was in there all along in the restroom throwing up until somebody opened the door and damned near hit my head but i didn't look up though

me: oh i'm sorry

mv: thats ok look i brought you something to eat since u ain't feel good

me:* coming up to wipe my face with some cold water* oh thanks you ain't have to. * i turned around* Omari?

omari: yeah it's me look lets not get into this who's right and who's wrong i just want us to start all over again if thats cool with you

me: yeah it's cool * we hugged*

omari: so what do u wanna know about this baby thing

me: i'm gone have it point blank and if it cost me my singing career so be it i'm not going to denie it or be ashamed shit i had unprotected sex and now i'm pregnant it's my fault so i have to deal with it and if you don't wanna tell that u the father u don't have to

omari: naw i wouldn't denie my baby like that and right now i'm not even thinking about that i'm just happy yo have u back inmy life

me: yeah me too

it was settled and we were back together with a baby on the way i know that i had this image but i didn't care what others thought anymore i couldn't because i had a baby to worry about now that i was goning to love and cherish with everything.

There's one more add on but i need feed back holla back

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Replies:

Re: My biggest Mistake -- Bubblez, 20:49:33 09/22/02 Sun
- Re: My biggest Mistake -- kima, 11:52:01 09/23/02 Mon