beer monkey (aka the stella monkey) -- The page for anyone who went to Codsall High but isn't a complete git!

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Subject: beer monkey (aka the stella monkey)

Author:
coll

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Date Posted: 12:49:01 04/03/03 Thu

ever wondered why people get aggressive when they drink?

it's obvious, there's a little monkey that appears, possibly sent by Bacchus. this little creature whispers things like "that bloke's looking at your bird", and "that man's just crapped in your pint" and such comments.

then he says: "that womans lovely go and feel her arse you know she wants you to".

hence all of the embarrassing and aggressive activities of lager and beer drinkers.

also an alternative explanation for people getting home and losing things (including money).

there are a group of law enforcement officers that are a little corrupt.

known as the beer police they are often responsible for taking drunks home. they dop however take your money and in my own personal experience took a disliking to my use of my mobile phone when on one of these escapades.

therefore they confiscated the said article and would not let me have it back. then a simple matter of a little brain surgery and all neurons pertaining to the experience are removed and the memory is gone forever.

it's all very obvious to me. especially having watched the stella monkey in action sitting atop a bouncer's shoulder (just happening to be about my eye height). leading to disastrous circumstances involving a group of guys and one particularly attractive young lady.

i thank you for your time.

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