Re: First pregnancy(no one understands) -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Wednesday, April 15, 12:41:54

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Subject: Re: First pregnancy(no one understands)

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 07/15/06 3:13pm
In reply to: Jacqueline 's message, "Re: First pregnancy(no one understands)" on 07/15/06 5:55am

Hi Jacequline,

I have a lot of empathy for you. You've made a good decision, one that you will be inexpressibly thankful for, but I can understand why you'd feel lonely in the lack of support and enthusiasm you have in those closest to you.

I think you're correct in turning the question of whether or not it's selfish to 'do this to Dominic' to whether or not it's selfish to ask you to kill another human being you have instincts against killing, especially when it's ultimately your life, your body, and your choice that you will have to live with.

It might be encouraging to know that six months from now, if not sooner, you'll likely have all or most of the support you're hoping for as it becomes apparent to parents and friends that you're keeping the little one. It happens all the time; people eventually do a 180.

But I know that doesn't help you now when you're adjusting yourself to the hugeness of the fact that you're going to be having a baby. Hopefully you can derive some comfort and even joy right now in knowing that you're making a good decision, one that affirms life and beauty, and that you're already being a good mother to your baby by standing up in their defense.

Please come here and vent anytime. And CONGRATULATIONS!! I think God has intervened with grace and granted you wisdom in protecting the life of your baby, and I think the road ahead will hold much more joy than trials for you.

Heather

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Re: First pregnancy(no one understands)

Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 07/16/06 12:22am

Hi Jacqueline,

I think you actually hit the nail on the head. Poor Dom, you won't harm his baby, but no empathy for you if you don't kill your child? I don't think people often reason that part through.

There are people out there, including us, who will be supportive. Do your best to find and surround yourself with those people. Also, the best thing you can do is stand firm. The more firmly you get across that an abortion isn't in the plans, the more likely it is for people to get the notion out of their minds. IN a few months the baby will be obvious and abortion is likely to seem less like something that can be pushed for.

I had to chuckle about them saying it wasn't fair to Dom. I guess I was raised with the notion that "life's not fair." I think my kids knew it by heart. LOL It might be a good retort.

If you need support near you, you might try a Crisis Pregnancy Center. They will support your decision to keep your baby and maybe you will feel less isolated until everyone else comes around.

And please continue to come here and let us all now how you are doing and vent if you need to.

--Melanie