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Wednesday, April 15, 12:42:21

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Subject: Re: my decision Author: Sharon [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 07/18/06 8:34pm In reply to: Jacqueline 's message, "Re: my decision" on 07/18/06 1:15pm Jacqueline, Your only responsibility is to yourself and your little one right now. Those around you who are pushing you to do this aren't going to have to live with your decision like you will. Your best friend who doesn't seem affected by her abortion may very well be needing to maintain an "it didn't phase me" frame of mind in order to NOT feel whatever pain is waiting there. She may need to be defending abortion as a reasonable option because if she acknowledges that the reality that abortion is not the best choice for you, that brings into question whether or not abortion was the right choice for her. In fact, she probably really needs compassion, even though she doesn't think anything is wrong. I don't want to say it, but it could even be that she's afraid of your being (and continuing to be) pregnant: it brings her abortion into even sharper focus. Jacqueline, I will pray that something happens either when you're at that clinic or ideally before you even get there that you will see as a sign that you aren't supposed to abort your baby. Clearly, you don't want to do this. So, that means this omst certainly is not the right choice for you. It may seem to be the "right" choice for those around you, but it's clearly not the right choice for you. You and Dom and your baby continue to be in my prayers. Sharon [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> Subject: Re: my decision Author: Lahela [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07/18/06 8:47pm Jacqueline, I'm coming in a little late to this discussion, but I'm concerned about you. It's important that you and your boyfriend make the decision together. But it sounds like he and others are pressuring and leading you into a decision that's in their best interests, rather than what you're wanting. Please know that while others may try to influence you to have an abortion, only you live with the consequences (heart and soul) of this decision. Just that you're trying to avoid attachment and avoid feelings in order to go through with this abortion is a troublesome sign. Women who are coerced into a a major, life changing decision, such as having an abortion are more likely to have difficulty coping with the decision afterwords. "There is also the emotional aspect, if the woman felt coerced, pressured, or like she had 'no other choice' - these are also definitely contributing factors." (1) I've learned this from providing enough peer counseling to both pregnant and post-abortive women. And, while pregnant women can't post on the following forum, you can read the stories of women who were coerced into their abortion(s): http://www.passboards.org/forumdisplay.php?f=18 It's important that you're true to yourself and you listen to your heart and your feelings. Also, I encourage you to take control of yor situation and don't let others dictate the decision for you. If you can, take some time away from those who are pressuring you and surround yourself with only those who support your right to make the decision and support you. From what you've described before, it sounds like you have the financial means and there's a lot of support out there. Please know that while I can't be there in person for you, you have my support. We care about you. I pray that you find the strength to stand up and do what you find in your heart is right for you. Love, Lahela (1)PASS Awareness Site (a neutral post-abortion site) Symptoms and Frequently Asked Questions About Post Abortion Stress Syndrome http://afterabortion.com/faq.html