Re: First pregnancy -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Wednesday, April 15, 12:41:57

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Subject: Re: First pregnancy

Author:
Lisa

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Date Posted: 07/20/06 8:49pm
In reply to: Jacqueline 's message, "Re: First pregnancy" on 07/20/06 5:12pm

Jacqueline,

I have not written much before to you (or maybe at all) but I just wanted to add my two cents. I think it was on this board where I realized that as far as a relationship goes in regards to having an abortion and staying together, the odds are stacked against it. The others on here can probally even give you stats, but the majority of relationships that weather a abortion together do break up. I think I would liken it to couples that have a child die in some other way. They usually divorce. People blame each other and cant seem to look at the other person the same way. I have friends that have both had abortions, their relationships dissolved, the man went his way, found another and had more children and moved on with their life where my friends were left behind with the memory of their unborn baby.

I also have 2 friends who each had a baby die from SIDS. One most recently, I even posted about it on this board. Both of those relationships dissolved. One was a marriage.

I am not trying to tell you what to do, I am just wanting you to know that the odds are in favor of a relationship faltering after an abortion.

As far as having other children with your boyfriend, I am sure that is a real possibility, but I think you will find the memory of this baby will always be in the shadows.

I wish you so much luck and love, you have a very difficult time ahead of you. We will be here if you need to talk to us!

With love,

Lisa

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: First pregnancy

Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 07/20/06 9:58pm

Hi Jacqueline,

You're a valuable person. While it's true, as you say, that most here can't be made to support you on your decision, I think I can speak for most that we definitely support you as a woman. Please know you're welcome here under all circumstances, and if you decide to go through with the abortion and afterwards find that you'd like post abortion counseling, we can help point you in the right direction for some great referrels for that.

With Kindness,

Heather