Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 12/ 9/09 12:18pm
Hello, yasmin,
I am sorry to hear of your difficulty. You know that abortion isn't the neat solution that people say it is. The depression after abortion can be so severe that a woman can actually commit suicide. So you are right to be concerned. Abortion attacks the heart and soul of a woman, and if a woman doesn't acknowledge this, she probably will go into a state of denial. This can last for years, but it only takes one incident to bring it back to a woman's attention in a rush. I call this being blindsided.
I believe that each baby is a gift from God. So in fact, yes, just getting pregnant is a sign from God, in my opinion. I believe that God has a plan for each of us, and when a woman has an abortion, that thwarts that plan. God also told us, Thou shalt not kill. As unpleasant as it is, your family's judgment shouldn't really be a factor in your decision. You are the one who has to live with the consequences. I'd be more afraid of God's judgment than your family's. There are plenty of people who have healed spiritually from involvement in abortion, but there are no guarantees. Some women simply can't forgive themselves.
It has been our experience that while most parents get upset when their daughter becomes pregnant, most become very supportive in the long run, usually in only a few weeks. I myself have two grandchildren who were conceived out of wedlock. They are both incredibly precious to me. A lot of people react out of pride, but you know what? What a woman does as an adult is really beyond the parents' control, no matter how good they taught their daughter. We live in a world full of people who take chances, rebel, and so forth, and this is a powerful influence on people even when they have been taught well. Your parents shouldn't take it personally, and their love for you is far more important than their pride, and I hope that they will realize this sooner rather than later. It seems from what you haven't said, that they have accepted your other two children. When they see their new grandchild, most likely, their hearts will melt if they haven't accepted him or her already.
Another thing to consider is that abortion is very dangerous. If you got seriously hurt, who would take care of your other two children? You owe it to them not to do this, and not only that, but in the long run, they will probably not react very well to your having an abortion. They may not specifically find out, but they will sense something is wrong, especially since you say you experienced depression before. And it will probably also affect your parenting skills, and this will also have an adverse effect on them. This is your children's sibling, and they deserve to have a loving relationship with him or her.
One final thing: if you have a complication, they will find out anyway. Having an abortion to conceal a pregnancy from one's parents is not a very good idea.
Go with your heart. You have misgivings, and rightly so. Consider only how you personally would deal with it. There is help available if you need it. And you can easily use this as a wake up call so that in the future you won't be running this risk, and that's a good thing, too. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby. Please keep in touch. We care about you and we will be praying for you.
Hugs,
Pat
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