Confused -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Wednesday, April 15, 12:45:10

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

Subject: Confused

Author:
Abby

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 03/21/09 10:22am

Im 22 years old and already a mother to a beautiful baby boy who is my whole world and the best thing to ever happen to me. He is 7 months old and i just found out i am 7 weeks pregnant. i had been with the father of both for almost 3 years and we just recently split. Things ended badly. I work full time and own a home on my own and i get no support. My parents watch my son for me now. I dont know how its possible for me to have another now. The father knows and says he would come back and help but im scared to rely on him i have always been very dependent. When i became pregnant with my son i quit college in my third year with the intention of going back. I have a great job but spend too many hrs at the office i couldnt keep working with two little ones. I dont love their father anymore, i havent for a long time. I love another who knows of the situation but is willing to forgive it. I made an appointment for an abortion in 4 days. I have always been prochoice but never thought id consider abortion myself.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Confused

Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 03/22/09 7:50am

Hi, Abby,

Being politically pro-choice doesn't have anything to do with affairs of the heart. You probably don't know it, but you are already unconsciously bonded to your baby. Your baby already has eyes, fingers, a heartbeat, and brain waves. He or she can swim around inside the amniotic sac.

You are carrying your son's sister or brother. Your baby is depending on you for your protection, and you are the only person in the entire world who can protect him or her. Abortion is dangerous, and could kill you or render you so seriously disabled that you would be unable to take care of your son. It's not worth it.

Many of us have been right where you are. Life can be incredibly difficult some times. But things change. You can be on top of the world, and it comes tumbling down. Or you can simply do what you know you must and one of these days, a man who is worthy of you comes along, and is father to your children. It has happened to several of us.

As for college, don't give up! When I got my degree, I had four children, three of them preschoolers. You can do it. Why do I say that? Because I did!

Right now, you're talking about all the things you can't do. It will take creativity on your part to solve your problems, but you CAN do it. You are a lot stronger than you think. There is also abundant help available. Go here, and find a center near you, and find out what they can do for you:

pregnancycenters.org

Also, many colleges have something called the College Outreach Program. This is a program that helps pregnant mothers who are in college. You might ask the college you want to attend if they have one. If not, let me know, and I'll give you some contact information; you may be able to get one started there.

Please remember. Your problems are temporary. But abortion is forever. I have totally lost count of the number of women who have told me, "Not a day goes by I don't think about my baby." They want their baby back. And I heard this from fathers too. You may not think it, but this is a precious blessing, and in time, you will know why God gave you this baby. We will be praying for you.

Please come back and keep in touch. We will be here for you, no matter what. But I won't help you hurt yourself.

Hugs,
Pat

[> Subject: Re: Confused

Author:
Heather
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 03/22/09 2:47pm

Hi Abby,

Welcome! It's hard to add anything to what Pat posted; she has a lot of wisdom.

But I'm sorry for the conflict you're in and will be praying for a speedy arrival to a place of peace about your pregnancy.

It sometimes helps with the big decisions in life to decide by priorities, and work backwards from there. If a larger issue for you is that you have never thought you would consider abortion yourself, presumably because you have a conscience issue with it, I would consider this a greater factor than shifting circumstances in your life that would push for a fearful reaction to abort.

Reason being that, as Pat said, abortion is permanent and can't be undone - and many women suffer from this. I don't think justice is done in giving a realistic picture. The circumstances we all face of family, spouses, careers, financial situations - these are all daunting in their own seasons, but they come and go.

Hang in there, take good care of yourself, and feel welcome to come here and decompress and update if you like. This board has some incredible women on it with a lot of life experience and wisdom.

With Kindness,

Heather