Re: Undecided -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: Undecided

Author:
Pat

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Date Posted: 06/10/08 10:03pm
In reply to: Leslie 's message, "Undecided" on 06/10/08 6:31am

Hello, Leslie,

You are 30 years old. If his parents don't approve of your relationship, that shouldn't be the major influence in your decision. Don't get an abortion to please someone else. Why does it matter that his mom thinks you did it to tie him down? You know your heart.

Your boyfriend did make a choice. He chose to take a risk. Now the only way you can "undo" that is to attack your own child. No, you didn't plan to have a child, but you now have one, and this child NEEDS your protection. It isn't necessarily the case that you will have to have a "family" just because you have a child. This is something the two of you need to decide: will you stay together? As for him being scared, he is now a father, and he may grow into it, or he may not. Give him some time. Most guys don't relate to pregnancy until they can see some signs for themselves, which can include seeing changes in the mother's body, hearing a heartbeat, seeing an ultrasound, or feeling movement.

As for you not being able to afford it, there is help available. Please go here: pregnancycenters.org They can provide all sorts of help; that's what they are there for. You will probably need to think outside the box. You can find other ways to take care of you and your mom. Sometimes a circumstance like this causes better circumstances in the end.

Violence against your own child is not an answer. There are other answers. Please search for them. We love and care about you both, and will keep you in our prayers.

One other thing to consider: abortion is dangerous. What if it destroys your ability to earn a living?

Hugs,
Pat

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[> Subject: Re: Undecided

Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 06/11/08 11:30am

Leslie,

Sometimes the things that are the most important blessings in our life first appear to be challenges - and maybe even obstacles. But, if we meet them head-on and embrace them, we find they are truly blessings.

I almost aborted my first child. He's now 28 and is one of the most loving, funny, kind, inspiring human beings I know. I can't imagine the world without him in it.

Be sure you fully educate yourself about what abortion really does and how developed the fetus is. I thought of him as a blob of tissue when I was considering abortion. But, it turns out he had fingers and toes, brainwaves, a heart that was beating, all of his organs in place. He was a tiny human being who simply needed time to grow.

Don't worry about what others might say about why you're pregnant. You're pregnant because this child of yours is ready to come into the world ;-)

As for supporting yourself, there are really good programs out there to help women with children. W.I.C. (Women, Infants, and Children) is one of them. Another is food stamps. Call your local crisis pregnancy center and ask them what is available in your community. You might be surprised. (I found that I actually had MORE to live on WITH a child than I did as a single woman because of the government programs designed to help mothers and their children. And, I didn't stay on them forever - just for as long as I needed to.)

I'll say a prayer for you.

Sharon