Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 10/25/07 10:02am
Jennifer,
I am SO sorry! I wish you could take it back, too. It's hard for me to know what to say. Truly. My heart aches for you!
A lot of guys do things like that. Indeed, we need to stand up to them. I'm surprised the abortion facility went through with it, considering you told them you didn't want it. It IS supposed to be YOUR choice. You are the one who has to live with it.
We want you to heal. We will be here for you; please feel free to come back.
Healing goes through stages. Right now, it is very important for you to let yourself feel anger. Feel anger toward your boyfriend and the abortion personnel. Act on it; TELL them how you feel. As for the abortionist, consider doing something specific because he didn't listen to you. But this will require a lot of strength, and this is also your decision.
Let your boyfriend know. Give him heck! He needs to repent and tell you he is sorry. I don't know if you want to salvage the relationship or not, but if you do, that is probably your only hope. Let him know what he did to you.
Once you have had a chance to express your anger, you then will need to forgive everyone involved, so you can heal. Forgiveness is not an emotion, but a decision. It is the decision to accept the hurt other people have caused you. It is very hard. Ask for God's help. He will give it to you.
We want you to heal so much, emotionally and spiritually. This experience could cause a huge amount of alienation between you and God, but that's the last thing you would need, because you need to be assured of His forgiveness. I don't know what faith you are, so I will talk to you of my faith tradition. I hope it will help. God knows we are weak. He doesn't normally interfere with our decisions, because He gave us free will and meant for us to exercise it. This is because He wants our love, and love cannot be compelled. It has to be freely given. Your baby is with God. God came to earth, took on human flesh, and died for all our sins, including your abortion! He is ready and willing to forgive you. You are full of sorrow. Go to Him and ask Him for His forgiveness. He will freely give it. Forgiving yourself will be hard, but it is necessary.
Let me tell you a little about this awesome God. There were two incidents in the Bible I can think about that showed just how awesome He is. The first one involved King David (who wrote most of the Psalms). You may find it comforting to read the Psalms. David loved another man's wife, and he wanted her for himself. So he sent the woman's husband into the front line of battle so he would be killed. God allowed earthly consequences, but He forgave David, and allowed David to be in the ancestral line of Jesus, which means He accepted David as in HIS ancestral line as a human being. And He said David was a man after His own heart. He knows we are weak and we make serious mistakes.
The second one involves a man named Saul. He went around killing Christians. He was responsible for the martyrdom of Stephen, who was killed by stoning. While they were killing Stephen, he prayed and asked God not to lay their sin on them. It was a request for God to forgive his tormentors. And God answered his prayer. On the way to Damascus, Saul was given the opportunity to meet Jesus. He had a vision, and Jesus appeared to him. After that, he became the Apostle Paul. In my opinion, Paul was the greatest of the Apostles because I owe my faith to the fact he preached to my ancestors.
God takes the people who have made such serious mistakes and redeems them, and He is ready and waiting to forgive you!
If you ever have the opportunity to talk to another woman who is considering or planning abortion, tell her to be strong. Tell her your story.
Please come back any time. We will be here for you all the way. And please go to a crisis pregnancy agency. They have counseling programs for women in your position. And most of the counselors have been through it themselves, so they know exactly what you are going through.
You can find a pregnancy center in your area by going here: www.pregnancycenters.org. I wish you all the best, and you will be in our prayers.
Hugs,
Pat
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