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Wednesday, April 15, 12:42:09

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Subject: Re: Takes a Twist Author: Tracey [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 11/ 6/07 6:09am In reply to: Pat 's message, "Re: Takes a Twist" on 11/ 5/07 7:15pm RWR~ Hello...wow! I'm sure she really threw you for a loop when she asked you to make this decision. I have thought about this for awhile. And I have come to this conclusion--from what I've gathered, I believe she is testing you. She wants to make sure you are committed to her and this baby. I honestly don't think she would go for an abortion if you told her that is what you wanted and I don't think you two would last again if she actually did go through with the termination--she would be bitter and resentful towards you. But this is so much more complicated than what's at the surface. You have to realize she's dealing with her hormones as well. I have had 4 children(see top right of page) and KNOW first hand how pregnancy hormones effect your state of mind, especially in the first trimester. She's craving for your comfort right now and for you to rescue her from these doubts. What's even more complicated is that you don't even know what you are feeling yourself. While termination sometimes may seem like an easy fix, it is SOOO much more complicated. Your girlfriend will always have bitterness and resentment towards you and the likelihood of you two staying together after a termination is about 99% in favor of breaking up. Please, this is my honest opinion of what she's feeling right now. I think her feelings are even more complicated than yours right now. She's in charge of carrying this baby right now, she's scared to death you will up and leave...because that is a reality and very common! She's desperately seeking your approval and support in all of this, as much as taking this drastic measure and asking you to decide this child's fate. Again, I think this is ALL a test! If she wanted to terminate this pregnancy, she would have done it immediately. I think your concerns or nervous behavior is scaring her. I can tell you what I believe she wants...now it's your choice on how to handle this and deliver it. She wants you to tell her that you've thought long and hard about what she asked you to do. She wants to hear you say that you love her and support her and will be there throughout this pregnancy and raising this child. She wants to know that you are her soft place and that she can count on you to support her through all of this. She can't be happy right now because she probably fears that if she allows herself to be excited about this pregnancy, it will freak you out--that reality will set in and you will skip town on her. She needs to hear that you WILL be there no matter what. This is your child just as much as it is hers. You both made this little one together. RWR, she JUST needs your support! And by the way, 29 is a great age to have children. I just turned 30 and have 4! :) You CAN do this! You just have to set your mind to it. You have to come to terms with the fact that it is what it is and this could be a REALLY cool thing! I can promise you that you are not alone in this! We promise to be here any time you need to talk. Remember, she NEEDS you! I think it would be really amazing if you went on your trip already knowing that this child is coming and see it as a celebration! Again, this is just my opinion! Please continue to come back any time and as often as you need to! God bless, Tracey [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]