| Subject: Re: scared |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 04/ 5/07 2:11pm
In reply to:
Monica
's message, "Re: scared" on 04/ 5/07 1:10am
Hi, Monica,
It's a carefully kept secret that birth control isn't that reliable. People make a lot of money from women whose birth control failed. It may be "safe" once, but people rarely take a chance just once.
Actually, you don't know your parents will kick you out. While you know them well, and you consider it likely, parents often surprise us.
Go to your local crisis pregnancy agency. They'll help you tell your parents. I'm sure your parents love you, and if they are approached in the right way, they may support you immediately. They have a right to be upset, but most parents get over it. Do they love your son? If so, they will love this new baby, too.
Don't try to keep your pregnancy a secret from them. It won't work. Sooner or later, they will find out, no matter what you do.
Your boyfriend may well abandon you. If you were to get an abortion, it would almost certainly destroy your relationship. You're better off as far as the relationship is concerned to have your baby, and then if you feel you cannot parent your baby, to choose adoption. If you are now saying, I could never choose adoption, what you are really saying is that you know you will love your baby, and you may be considering a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The other thing to consider is how your son will react, and whether you will escape harm. If you are harmed, it will make it more difficult or impossible to mother him. I gather you are considering abortion, but don't want to mention it. Abortion is dangerous. It has grave medical risks, and also emotional and spiritual risks. As a hospital employee, you may well be aware of women who have been butchered and have come to the emergency room.
Another consideration as far as your boyfriend is concerned is that men don't react to pregnancy the way we do. We have the evidence right there in front of us, and we can't ignore it. We have hormones that change, and we experience the changes. Men don't have any of that. Many men don't connect with a pregnancy until they can experience some evidence for themselves. It may be changes in the mother's body, hearing the heartbeat, feeling movement, or seeing an ultrasound. Some men don't come around until the baby is born. So give your boyfriend time. He may come around. This will be a test of whether he is a good choice to spend your life with. If he abandons you, as hard as it is emotionally, you are better off without him.
Please keep in mind also that your body responds to sexual activity with hormones that cause a bond to form between you and your sexual partner. This will make it more difficult, so you will have to be strong. Take one day at a time. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby.
We will be here for you no matter what. We won't help you harm your baby or yourself, but we will still be here any time you need to talk.
Hugs,
Pat
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