Create a New Forum Admin Login Member Login Contribute to Voyager Search VoyForums Help Desk VoyForums Exchange VoyForums Directory/Categories VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Wednesday, April 15, 17:42:02

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, [7], 8, 9, 10 ]

Subject: Re: please help me! Author: Pat [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 05/ 6/07 8:39am In reply to: lauren 's message, "please help me!" on 05/ 5/07 5:50pm Hi, Lauren, What do you think your parents will do if they find out you are pregnant? What do you mean by "lose everything"? What are you afraid you will lose? Here's something to consider. Suppose you get an abortion. And you get hurt. And your parents find out you were pregnant because you got hurt. What if the abortion kills you? You won't necessarily be able to keep it a secret by having an abortion. Not only that, but you are asking for long term problems. Did you know that if a woman your age gets an abortion, and there is a history of breast cancer in your family, it is virtually certain you will get breast cancer, too, in your 40's, the most virulent kind? Did you know that if you get an abortion, you could suffer permanent damage to your reproductive system so that you won't be able to have healthy children in the future? What kind of resources will you need to be willing to have your baby? Can you consider adoption? Do you need help telling your parents? Do your parents love you? Will they want to know what you are going through because they love you? If you regret your abortion (and a lot of women do, once the panic has passed and they can think about things with a clear head), will your behavior change so that they will know something is wrong? We had a family member whose personality totally changed; she can't be in an intimate relationship with anyone at this point. She has been in and out of mental hospitals. Is that what you want for your future? Count ALL the costs. Don't look at abortion as an easy way out. It's not. No matter what you do, things will never be the same as they were. You need to do what is in your best interests, and having this kind of medical procedure when you are healthy means taking lots of risks for no medical gain. Please think about it. We will be here for you no matter what you decide, but we can't support you deciding to hurt yourself. I hope this helps. Hugs, Pat [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> Subject: Re: please help me! Author: jaye (love) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05/ 6/07 6:46pm Hi Lauren, I can tell that your scared, but let me just take this time to discourage you from having an abortion. I know your confused and uncertain about your future. I being a through an abortion recently still live with the gulit and regrets. If I had someone to talk to then I would have made a right choice to keep the pregnacy. I have had friends your age whom got pregnant and have the baby and still completed school successfully and have great jobs today as elememtary school teachers, cheif education officers, lawyers. There is hope, just live each moment with God grace he'll see u through. It's all part of his will. You will grow. At least let your parents know. And Pat's advice is good too! Hugs Jaye

[> [> Subject: Re: please help me! Author: lauren (still really scared) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05/ 7/07 11:19pm thanks for ur advice and everything but im too young to have a baby. i know that my life will change either way but id rather it be not with a baby to looko after. yeha in the futer but not now. i ahve my education to consder let alone my boyfriend's. he doesnt want a baby noweither and we both want to have an abortion. i know that their are risks involved but i would rather have an abortion. if worse comes to worse and my parents do find out well i guess it will all come out then but for now i would really not like to tell them. im a pretty emotional person and i have my best friend and my boyfriend to support me. they are the only people i have told. i didnt even tell my twin sister. i no i should tell my parents but they will hate me for a very long time. they do love me and im sure they would support me over time but i dont wnat to put a burdon on their lives. i hate my life alreayd i dont need this on my shoulders. i dont mean that in a destuctive way. i mena i ahve a nice life and everything.. ive just gone through alot with my parents and their partners and whole lot of other stuff. i dont think i will look back and say oh i wish i had my baby now. if i do find that im pregnant and have the abortion. i mena i dont even no if i am pregnant or not. the only sympton i have is i havent gotten my periods yeat and its almost been a week. maybe they are really late. but im greatful for the advice and support you all ahve given me. i will keep you updated but if i do find tat i am pregnant which i hope im not i will most definatly be getting an abortion. sorry. xx

[> [> [> Subject: im so relieved! Author: lauren (happy) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05/ 8/07 10:06pm hey guys thanks for everything! this morning when i woke up i had finally gotten my period! im so happy and so is my boyfriend. can i ask a question? you know how ur period happenes every 28 days or so.. well i calculated mine right well they usually come within a couple of days that ive predicted it to be comming or on the day.. why was mine a week late? could i still be pregnant? should i take a test just incase? how long after u fall pregnant do they symptoms arrive? sorry to ask all the questions but i just want to know everything before i start jumping to conclusions again. i was thinking maybe i miscalculated when my period should come because is usually comes on either a wednesday or a friday so yeha. thanks again. i know the last time i replied i wasnt all that nice but i was just heaps stressed so im sorry if i sounded mean or watever1 you guys are really helpful and im glad i came across this site! thanks lauren xx

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: im so relieved! Author: Melanie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05/ 9/07 5:04am If your period is lighter than normal, pregnancy is a possibility, but if you are having a normal period pregnancy is unlikely. However, if you are concerned, tests are not expensive and it can't hurt to be certain. It's hard to say why you were late. Sometimes stress or illness can cause a delay: http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html As for pregnancy signs, they usually start appearing about the time you are late for your period. The tricky thing is that some signs for a late period are similar to pregnancy symptoms. Anyway, it sounds like you are relieved. Let me know if I can be of any help. --Melanie P.S. I didn't think you were mean.

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: im so relieved! Author: Pat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05/ 9/07 5:30am Hi, Lauren! I am happy things turned out for you. It is uncommon for a woman to have periods while she is pregnant, though it can happen. You may have been stressed out, or may have been sick or something; those things can affect regularity. Now that you know you are vulnerable, you can make sure you don't ever run the risk again. Remember, no contraceptive method is TRULY reliable. If you want to take chances with contraception, I call that "sexual roulette". :) Don't worry about being "mean". We understand the panic that goes with your type of situation. If you need anything further, we will be here for you, and you are welcome to stay and talk to other women. Perhaps your concern about how your parents would have reacted shows that you need to work on your relationship. I don't know your parents, and I don't know how hard that might be; it might be that you will have to do all the giving and let them come around as they see that you are being more loving and obedient, or working harder, or whatever it is you need to do. Believe me, the rewards can be considerable. If they are simply nasty people, obviously you can't directly change that. All you can do is control your own behavior. If you show them love, maybe they'll catch it. You have your whole future ahead of you. You can make it regardless of whether you are/were pregnant or not, but it would be more of a challenge with a child. But that doesn't make it impossible. You have truly been given some insight with this experience, so you should make use of it! :) You can also probably tell your friends your thoughts, and this might help them. Hugs, Pat

[> [> Subject: Re: please help me! Author: kaniesha (sad) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06/ 5/07 5:10pm hi lauren i am 16 too.....i know what you are going through and i have been there and it isnt easy.....i got an abortion as soon as my story gets posted i want you to read it and rethink abortion because its hard to deal with baby girl im telling you from expeirence i had my abortion on 4-27-07 and im still dealing with the after effects of abortion please talk to somebody b4 you consider abortion.....please....feel free to email me anytime at dreammyangel09@yahoo.com......please dont jump the gun