Re: need to make a decision and fast! -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: need to make a decision and fast!

Author:
Lori

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Date Posted: 05/23/07 7:25am
In reply to: missy 's message, "need to make a decision and fast!" on 05/22/07 9:30pm

Hi Missy,

Welcome to the board. I'm so glad that you found us. I think that deep in your heart you know what decision you should make but the circumstances are causing you to doubt yourself. Circumstances always change so you shouldn't make a decision based off of your circumstances or based off of your emotions. Your emotions are on a roller coaster and one minute you know what you want and the next you have your doubts and a big part of this is due to the hormones.
I would definitely say that if you had a abortion right now that you would regret it because you would be basing your decision off of your emotions and your circumstances. You can always change your circumstances, there is plenty of help out there for single mothers facing a unplanned pregnancy. If I were you I would find my local crisis pregnancy center and see what resources are available to you. Also, one of the most important things in raising children is to have a good support system and you said that your family is thrilled. Your daughter isn't that excited but I think that if you make her apart of this let her go with you to the doctor's appointments, sonograms etc and she will feel like she is apart of this and not being left out. She has been the only child for a very long time and needs to be reassured that her position in your heart want change after this child is born.
Please continue to come to the board. We would love to support you and be a listening ear! Your in my thought and prayers.
God Bless,
Lori
Ps. Feel free to email me anytime!

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Replies:

[> Subject:

Re: need to make a decision and fast!

Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 05/23/07 9:35am

Hi Missy,

Thanks for posting. I hate to see you in such a hurry to make a decision because it's usually early on in the pregnancy that we feel we can't do it. Later on the worries dissipate substantially. If you act out on these initial emotions, you may make a decision you will regret.

With time you will begin to love this new addition and the worries you have at this moment will no longer matter. I hope you allow yourself to get to that point.

Lori's right, there is help out there. Do check out what your local crisis pregnancy center has to offer. And she's also right about your daughter. Include her in this new journey. It will help her to let go of some insecurities/selfish feelings. And I'm sure she'll fall in love with this little one. Give her time.

I hate to say it, but you are running out of time to have more children. I'm 35 myself and although I know women can conceive much older than that, I'm aware that the chances go down. I also know that the chance for problems rises after 35.

Just remember, time isn't running out for finding Mr. Right. There are good men out there who will love you and your two children. Not that you need to worry about that anytime soon. I'm just letting you know that having children doesn't mean you'll be single for the rest of your days. : )

I'd love to talk with you more. Please do post as often as you like. Just letting out your thoughts can be helpful.

Take care,

Shellie