| Subject: Re: what do i do? |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 05/29/07 9:42am
In reply to:
Sheree
's message, "what do i do?" on 05/28/07 9:55pm
Hi, Sheree,
I am just going to speak to you from my heart. You see, I was in the position your dad is in.
What is the value of a great social life if you can't live with yourself? You are telling me you don't really want an abortion. You feel heart broken even THINKING about it. I think you know what an abortion will do. You are carrying a baby, and you seem to be aware of it. Why else would this decision be so stressful for you? You could make a mistake that you cannot undo. You have only a short time, and you feel pressure. That's not a good place to make a decision.
Why can't you give your baby the life he or she deserves? Your baby deserves and needs your protection, above all. Please protect your baby! You can always work out the problems as they come up, and there are many people out there who are eager to help you. You ARE capable of having a baby. You are a lot stronger than you think!
We taught our children not to put themselves into a position to take the kind of risk that results in babies being born outside of marriage. In particular, we have one son who read a lot of books (eagerly) about these issues, which recommended that he should wait. I had already decided how I would respond if it ever happened, though. I told the children that if they ever got involved in abortion, I would disinherit them! And they knew I meant it. Put yourself in your dad's shoes for a minute. What if you had an abortion to conceal your pregnancy from him, and the abortion damaged your body, and he found out anyway? Now he'd have to deal with your pregnancy AND your abortion! How do you think he would feel?
Our son had an affair of about three weeks with a woman. He knew better. We had already talked about it when he had a one night stand with someone. He has also been married, but to make a long story short, that didn't work out. It was an exceptionally tough situation. Anyway, he had this affair, and she became pregnant.
One night, he called and told us about it. By this time, his son was about 15 months old. I was heart broken he didn't let us know about it sooner, but so VERY thankful we have a beautiful grandson! He and the mother have done an exceptional job of raising him so far, and he is a precious child and very well behaved. They take turns caring for him because they both work. They had been putting him in day care a few hours a week, and they stopped doing that, for his sake. It was the joy of my life when our son asked me to babysit him so he could go to the Christmas party. I can't begin to tell you how much it meant to me to hold and comfort him when he was afraid because his daddy wasn't there. The very first thing I told our grandson's mother when I met her was, "Thank you for having your son and for letting us share in his life."
You know, when our son called and told us, my first reaction was, how do I respond to this? I said to him, "Congratulations, I guess!" LOL But we all hope he will marry the child's mother, and I told him so! I said, "God bonded you two together with a child for a reason." I recently learned that she had been running around with the wrong crowd, and he has been able to convince her to stop doing that. Already, one life has been saved from ruin! I told him, "I'm not going to harp on you about this. I will just tell you that for your son's sake, you two ought to get married." Obviously, people sometimes get married for the wrong reasons, and some marriages are miserable. However, I know our son. He will make it work. He is willing to go that extra mile, because he certainly did with his ex-wife! He stuck by her side through thick and thin. Love isn't about emotions. It's a decision to cherish and protect the person you have chosen to love.
I'm not suggesting that you should marry your child's father. Only you can decide that, and it will be something you can ponder, and make the best possible decision. I'm just telling you how WE reacted. :)
Oh, and another thing. It's not because he is our only grandchild. He's not. We have three others, and probably will have a fourth in a couple of weeks.
In the vast majority of cases, grandparents will react poorly at first when they learn their daughter is pregnant, but the vast majority of them welcome, love, and cherish their grandchild. That is your dad's grandchild you are carrying. Children are beautiful, no matter how they get started. It's not your child's fault that he was conceived under adverse circumstances. Don't rob your parents of their grandchild!
We will be praying for you. Please remember: abortion is forever. You can't take it back.
Hugs,
Pat
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