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Subject: Re: guilt and regret Author: Shellie [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 06/13/07 11:37am In reply to: Sandee 's message, "Re: guilt and regret" on 06/13/07 7:08am Sandee, My heart goes out to you! I was wondering, what state do you live in? Does your state require parental consent? Why does your daughter want to abort? Does the baby's father want the child aborted? Does your daughter know what her baby looks like? Is she aware of the development that has taken place? If she isn't, she'll most likely learn later and be devastated. A lot of girls are lied to by the abortion clinics. They are told, "it's just a blob of tissue at this point". Your daughter should have all the facts. Here's some fetal development info: 10 weeks 10 weeks pregnant:eight weeks after conception *From this week until birth, the developing organism is called a fetus. *The fetus is now the size of a small strawberry. *The feet are 2mm long (one tenth of an inch). The neck is beginning to take shape. *The body muscles are almost developed. Baby has begun movement. *While still too small for you to feel, your little one is wriggling and shifting. *The jaws are in place. The mouth cavity and the nose are joined. *The ears and nose can now be seen clearly. *Fingerprints are already evident in the skin. *Nipples and hair follicles begin to form. The unborn baby is now called a fetus. Though the fetus is constantly moving, you will not be able to actually feel fetal movement for several more weeks. All of the organs, muscles, and nerves are in place and beginning to function. As the hands and feet develop fingers and toes, they have lost their paddle like look. The touch pads on the fingers form and already have fingerprints. I'd like to talk to you more, but first, I'd like you to answer the questions above. Please post here as often as you like. And feel free to direct your daughter to this board. I'd love to hear her thoughts. Take care, Shellie [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: guilt and regret Author: Melanie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06/13/07 2:37pm Hi Sandee. I think you are refreshing. I have, in my time, seen a lot of moms literally pushing their daughters in the door of the clinic. The daughters sometimes even protesting, but then when they are asked they will usually give in. As for tough love, you know your daughter. I would definitely consider a tougher approach, but you know her personality. Ask her if she has seen what happens during an abortion. Tell her she will see someday, even if she doesn't want to know now. Sometimes that works and other times they will do pretty much the opposite of whatever you want. Has she talked to you about it much? Obviously you at least know. I would want to know what the boyfriend is saying. If he (and possibly his parents) are having a say in this, then perhaps it would help if you didn't make any immediate financial demands on them. I think a lot of guys and their families just see 18 years of child support and don't consider the long term effects or consequences. Just let her know that she and her baby will be very supported, she doesn't have to give up her dreams (if you are willing and able to help her.) She also will not be the same. If she has an abortion she doesn't just go back like nothing happened. I think a lot of young girls don't realize this - they may know it, but they just want things to be like before. You don't just become unpregnant. You always know. It will change her either way. She can meet the challenge of being a new parent or harden her heart and have that process affect here that way. Also, you might let her know that most relationships do not survive an abortion, if she still wants to continue a relationship with the baby's father. Obviously having a baby is difficult as well, but an abortion seems to kill a relationship very quickly. Pregnancy has a way of testing a guy's committment level real quickly. I will say one thing, if you know where the clinic is, it would be good to be there, even though it would be difficult, but you should under no circumstances take her. You probably know that already, but some parents will take their daughter to show love, but if she has problems later, then it often backfires. My heart really goes out to you. Sometimes, I know it would be nice to painlessly knock sense into them. (Not advocating violence here, but I think you'll know what I mean.) I can see that you love your daughter. If she does not listen to you, then we can point you in the direction of support hopefully for both of you. Hang in there and don't give up until it's over.