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Wednesday, April 15, 19:22:20Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1234567[8]910 ]
Subject: letting baby cry? and other questions...


Author:
Nikki
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Date Posted: 12/ 6/06 12:18pm

so, Kaydence is a month old now. Motherhood is wonderful and frustrating all at the same time. And this last month has gone by so fast. But I have a few questions and was wondering if I could get some advice from the other mothers around here.

First question: I don't know if Kaydence is colicy or what, but it seems like almost every night, at about bed time, she gets really fussy. Like last night for example. She was fine until about nine thirty when I was making dinner. I carried her around as much as I could, and it helped for awhile. About an hour later, she was crying for no apparent reason. I tried to feed her, she wasn't hungry. I changed her, and that didn't help either. Walking around with her didn't help. Nothing did. So, I just laid her down with me and let her cry. Is that okay to do? She stopped after awhile and went to sleep. But I still feel bad for just letting her cry.

I also wanted to know, how long should I wait to get her ears peirced? I'm still not totally sure I want to do it. I'm scared with the way she waves her arms around that she's going to rip them out. But I don't want to wait too long to have it done.

Those online, work from home things? Anyone ever tried them, or have a website to suggest? I really, really don't want to go back to a real job. I don't think that I could deal being away from Kaydence long enough to have a normal nine-to-five, even though I have an awesome babysitter, who I totally trust. But, we really do need a second income in our house. It's been really hard trying to survive on just Paul's paychecks alone. We aren't doing horribly bad, but things were just a lot easier when I was getting my own paychecks too. And I would really love to have a job where I have a steady paycheck, and I can still stay home to take care of the baby and the house and everything.

I know I had another question, but I can't think of it now...

Oh, any suggestions on how to get her to sleep at night? I'm not too worried about her sleeping all night yet, I just want her to sleep at night. She usually does good during the day, with napping and being awake. But, no matter how hard I try to keep her awake in the afternoon, she seems to always take a nap around five. Which means that she's up at ten and stays awake until two or three in the morning. And then she's fussy, and I'm tired and its just really frusterating for the both of us.

Anyway, any suggestions or advice you could offer would be so much appreciated.

And how are all of you doing? Hope everything is going well for everyone. Can you believe Christmas is coming in only a few more weeks? I'm so not ready for it at all. I'm almost dreading it coming.

Anyway, I gotta go before this gets too long. Thanks again. And hope everyone's doing well.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: letting baby cry? and other questions...


Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 12/ 6/06 9:44pm

Are you breast feeding or bottle feeding? If breast feeding you might find it helpful to let her feed or comfort suck to sleep theres no harm in it. I don't see anything wrong with you laying with her and trying to cuddle her to sleep either. It's not allways possible to get babies to stop crying right away the fact that she went to sleep eventually is a good thing. If she's around a month old she could be having a growth spurt and babies often cry for seemingly now reason during these times allthough i have a hunch in your case that she may just be over tired. You also need to watch for how long you are letting her be awake for between feeds because once she becomes over tired it can be difficult for her to get to sleep and then she will cry and fuss alot and it can be a vicious cycle. Do you know what the classic tired signs to watch for are? Here is a linkt that you may find helpful which includes what tired signs are and how long your baby should be awake for between feeds according to her age roughly
http://www.swsahs.nsw.gov.au/karitane/docs/sleep.asp

With regard to getting her to sleep more at night i suggest not interacting too much with her when she wakes during the night just feeding her and changing her ect but no playing,dim lighting ect. Also be consistent with whatever it is that you do during the night and the day so that she gets to know the difference between the two. Sometimes when my babies have been crying alot i bath them and put them in a fresh diaper and clothes and feed them a little (breastfed of course) and they seem to settle better. Then there are allways things to try like taking them for a walk in the pram or the car but the pram can sometimes be too stimulating for an over tired baby. There's alot of trial an error involved and every baby is diferent. I have to say though that you do really sound like youre doing a fantastic job so far. Do you have a baby sling/front carrier? If your baby likes to be close to you they can be handy to have that way you can carry her around if you need to and still have your hands free.

My 8 year old daughter only recently got her ears peirced so i don't think you need to have a babies ears done as a matter of urgency. My daughter was scared that it would hurt but she said it didn't really and was quite releived when she realised she had nothing to fear.
I can't believe Christmas is so close either and i know i could be more prepared than i am lol but i am just so big and cumbersome at the moment i have to do little bits at a time.
[> Subject: Re: letting baby cry? and other questions...


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 12/ 7/06 3:18pm

Hi, Nikki!

It sounds like overall things are going well for you! Keep up the fantastic work!

As far as the fussiness is concerned, I never had that problem, with seven kids, so I can't offer you a lot of really concrete help. However, Luka had some good thoughts. Here's what I'm thinking. If it looks like she is overtired, and you know she's not hungry, I'd put her in the bed and leave her alone. She will cry a lot for a couple of days, and then settle into a routine, and she will be a lot happier. So it seems cruel, but it's really not. The same thing in the middle of the night. Feed her, change her diaper if need be, but don't do anything else. Just put her back to bed. Really young babies do need to eat during the night, but they don't need to be awake and alert.

After I had had a few, I found that I could take the baby into bed with me, and feed, and both of us could fall asleep, and we could lie like that until I was awake enough to put the baby back in the crib. We kept the crib in our room. I didn't change diapers in the middle of the night. If the baby is primarily sleeping, she probably won't soil the diaper at night.

I don't have any experience with getting ears pierced, either. I have seen babies with their ears pierced, so I know people do it. I would tend to wait until it can be explained she needs to leave them alone, and you can trust her to do it. But there may be a window when she isn't likely to flail her arms around and she probably won't bother them, either, but that is probably very, very narrow. You might want to talk to someone who has done this a few times with daughters.

As for these online businesses, be VERY VERY careful. Most of them are scams, and they'll make your situation far worse. Among the scams are read emails, surf the web, stuff envelopes, and multi-level marketing. With reading and surfing, they're counting on you to buy more than you get paid. With stuffing envelopes, they will make you pay for envelopes and postage, and you will lose money. MLM is a scam that is poorly understood, but unless you are prepared to exploit people, and to alienate friends and family, leave it alone. These companies are constructed so that you get a cut of the sales made by people you recruit. Supposedly, this will produce residual income that means you won't have to work for this. The problem is, the people on the bottom won't even make minimum wage. The average for one supposedly reputable company was $1.57 per hour. You have to pay all your own expenses. If you make money, you can ONLY do it by taking advantage of several people who won't. It can destroy your friendships, your marriage, your family, and your finances. If you see that a program lets you get ANY money from sales of people you recruit, it's MLM, no matter how much they disguise it. These are basically business cults, and they are run with cult mind control techniques. If you're not making money, they may urge you to buy motivational tapes. This is strictly a scam. You aren't making money because the business model is fundamentally flawed.

Also, if you encounter a web site that wants information from you without telling you first what they are doing, run away screaming! Most of these are sources for spam for scams. I got burned that way. Also, avoid web sites that want you to sign up for information and have checkboxes for the kind of information. These are sites that set up lists of victims for spammers to buy. And avoid web sites with slick presentations. YOU seek out the companies to do business with, by using search engines and surfing. The good sites will have a link for affiliates (you can find these at bookstores, also, for example), but they don't tout this, and this is just a single link on an otherwise normal online store where you can buy as a stranger. An example of this is Amazon.com. If you want to collect books and sell them second hand, that's one possibility, if you have storage space and don't mind packing up single books as soon as you get an order, and mailing them. You will have to buy books, of course. And you will have to inventory and supply information to Amazon. You can also put links to specific books sold by Amazon on a web site, and become an affiliate that way. That's a lot easier. Fulfillment (sending out products) is time-consuming.

Here are some suggestions for things you can do to make money from home. You can start an affiliate business. This is different from MLM, even though both use the term "affiliate". So it can be confusing. An affiliate business requires that you have a web site. You surf the web for things you would like to sell, where the company will allow you to link in for a cut of the profit from the sale of an item. They will give you a special link that will let them know that the customer was recruited by you, and whatever that person buys provides a payment to you. Another possibility is to set up a web site selling things that you either make yourself, or buy from people you select, and you buy from more than one vender. For example, you might decide to sell baby things. You take orders on your web site, and you have to do fulfillment, which means you have to obtain the ordered item and send it to the customer. Don't keep a large inventory. This will cost YOU money. Or you could do the same thing with jewelry or whatever. You can choose any product where you can get it wholesale. Just make sure that the company is NOT MLM. Once you have a web site set up to do either of these, you can get search engines to list you (I know quite a bit about that), and you can join webrings to get traffic. I also run a couple of business webrings. Let the owners of this discussion group know you want more information about any of this, and I will contact you privately. Good luck with this! It is a worthwhile thought. If you need help designing a web site, I can also help you a little with that. Be wary of these free sites like FortuneCity and Geocities. These will drive your visitors batty with ads, and it's not worth it. If possible, get a domain name. You can pay a small amount per month for hosting, and if you are making any money at all, you can cover this cost, though you will have to pay for it out of pocket to begin with. But it beats renting store space!

Hugs,
Pat
[> Subject: Re: letting baby cry? and other questions...


Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 12/11/06 6:31pm

Hi.. I think Luka's advice about sleeping is pretty sound (no pun intended.) LOL Anyway, colic is one possibility if it is the same time everyday. Just make her as comfortable as you can. I have read that a few tablespoons or warm water can help. If she is on formula you might try another to see if that makes a difference.

As for days/nights, the best advice is to try to keep her up a little more during the day with less stimulation at night. However, that is not a guarantee. My son was really stubborn. He would stay up practically 24 hrs. to get back on the same schedule. I don't think that is the norm, I just think it was because his dad worked evenings at the time, among other things. As for letting her cry, if you are certain that everything is o.k. a little crying will not hurt her and in fact is sometimes needed.

Also, when you feel like you are so tired that it gets difficult just keep reminding yourself that this part doesn't last forever. I know now that I'm older I can do that with a lot of confidence during trying times and it's a big relief to know that whatever it is and no matter how it feels there will be an end to it. :)

Congrats.. sounds like you are doing just fine.
[> Subject: Re: letting baby cry? and other questions...


Author:
Nikki
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 12/14/06 8:45pm

I just wanted to say thank you for all your wonderful advice. I have been trying it and it has been working. Slowly, but surely, we are making progress in setting up a bedtime routine. Like, right now, it's 8:30 and Kaydence has been in bed since just after 6:00. The last few nights, she's been in bed by eight, and has been doing a fairly good job staying there.

It is tough at first to just feed her, put her back to bed, and let her go to sleep on her own, let her cry. But after a few times, I realized that she really doesn't cry all that much. Once I get her settled down and everything, if she does cry, it's no more than five minutes and she's sleeping. And actually, she's starting to sleep most of the night without waking, which wasn't really one of my concerns, but it's quite amazing.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. You are all awesome people. Happy holidays to all of you and your families. I really hope they're enjoyable and happy times. Kaydence gets to go see Santa tomorrow for the first time!!! I'm so excited!!!
[> [> Subject: Re: letting baby cry? and other questions...


Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 12/16/06 11:28pm

Hi Nikki,

I'm glad to hear your scheduling with Kaydence is working out! It's always interesting working out all those quirks in the first few months. I think the advice given was excellent and the little bit your baby cries is perfectly normal.

Your 'baby's first' with Santa is only the first of many sweet and exciting firsts of motherhood; I'm enjoying them along with you with my little ones.

Heather
[> Subject: legitimate work at home companies


Author:
Rebecca
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Date Posted: 01/12/07 5:42pm

I work in the PC field and I read an article in the past that I saved. It was about the jobs that were going overseas (to India) and how our country reacted, the benefit (or lack thereof), etc. In the article, it listed several companies that hire people to work out of their homes to handle incoming and outgoing calls.

These are real companies and I am in no way affiliated with them or endorse them. I have applied at them (hoping someday to be a SAHM myself).

http://www.workingsol.com/home.htm

http://www.willowcsn.com/

http://www.alpineaccess.com/external/index.html

http://www.liveops.com/

These are the only ones from the article that I checked out, applied for and saved the link. There were others, but for some reason, I never applied at them and can not remember the reason why.

If it's not appropriate to post this information, please delete and sorry for the post. Good luck. I am all for all mothers being SAHM, if there is any possibility.



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