Winning before losing, punched before eating -- Chan Is Missing

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Date Posted: 15:35:35 01/22/08 Tue
Author: Toni Gramsci, "Fool"
Subject:

Winning before losing, punched before eating

There really isn't much to say about my inability to climb out of the grimy cellar of emotion I fall into when I ought to be having fun. I get blue, emotionally, and feel like I should be wearing a death masque.

There's no reason for it. I just can't see any other option than self-destruction. I hate it! I don't WANT to be like that.

What is wrong with me such that I must destroy my relationships?

I continue to pick winners at the track. The less I think, the better I do. There is a catalog of information about horses in my brain, and trainers, and jockeys, and stables, and muddy tracks and good turf and speed and Beyers...there is exercise for my brain. And it pays.

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