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Subject: so...


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Date Posted: 23:25:31 02/17/02 Sun

so i'm a virgin.....i'm 19...soon to 20

i used to be comfortable with that label.....but these days, it's getting on my nerves.
people say i should be proud of myself as if being a virgin is something i should wear like a medal. well i can't. most people, mostly men don't believe me, i don't know why. actually i do know why, i can be really vulgar sometimes. and i guess that doesn't go along with being a virgin....a virgin is supposed to be pure, some little naive school girl.
it's not like i can't give it up, there are a few canidadates, but i think i'm too emotional for just a fling. i don't think i'd be able to sleep at night. i have this disturbing scene in my head about some guy just violently knocking me up, putting his clothes when he's done with me and placing money the night table before he leaves. now i know that's a but extreme but the point is i just don't want it to be just sex. i have needs but not all of them are physical. i have this bad feeling that guys my age just want sex, and don't to deal with the emotional luggage. i'm the type of chick that wants to talk about everything, every guys' worse nightmare. so i wait.....just wait, i'm not going to settle for just anyone. It has to be the way i want it to be. i sometimes wonder if this all just a naive school girl's dream, i'm sure i'll find out....someday....

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