FUN THINGS TO DO WHEN DRIVING -- Jokes

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Date Posted: Sat, Jun 09 2001, 9:27:11
Author: steve
Subject: FUN THINGS TO DO WHEN DRIVING

FUN THINGS TO DO WHEN DRIVING

Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed
limit.

Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to
headbang.

At stop lights, eye the person in the next car
suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

Two words: Chicken suit. Write the words "Help me" on
your back window in red paint. The more it looks like
blood, the better.

Have conversations, looking periodically at the
passenger seat, when driving alone. Laugh a lot. A
whole lot.

Stop at the green lights.

Go at the red ones.

Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie
out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

Eat food that requires silverware.

Pass cars, then drive very slowly.

Sing without having the radio on.

Honk frequently without motivation.

Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry
look and an obscene gesture.

Ask people for Grey Poupon.

Let pedestrians know who's boss.

Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.

Restart your car at every stop light.

Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror.
Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.

While stopped at a light, pee out the window/sunroof
onto other cars.

Paint your car with occult symbols.

Keep at least five cats in the car.

Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for fire trucks.

Stop and collect road kill.

Stop and pray to road kill.

Throw Spam.

Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down
... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw
Spam at them.

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