3/13/02 voted winner -- WINNER'S ALLEY

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Subject: 3/13/02 voted winner

Author:
T. Yahraus

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Date Posted: 14:49:14 03/14/02 Thu

Date Posted: 17:41:43 02/21/02 Thu
Author: Ted Yahraus
Subject: A Fitting Conclusion

A story so ancient, from history's dawning,
We men, buying clothes, dragged behind wives, yawning.
"Way too big!", "That looks gross!", "Don't you have a brain?!"
Why, I wonder, are we so danged difficult to train?

Shoved into those tiny rooms, too small for a fairy,
Nervously stripping, flapping curtain showing a chest quite hairy!
"Come out!", "Let's see you!", barks one snapping wife,
While mismatched shirt collars are choking my life!

Suit pants drag like sleepers behind me,
I sulk out the door, a cousin to Sweet-Pea!
Of course, she has wandered, as I'm limping around,
A freak-show for shoppers, on unholy ground!

They gawk and they murmur, as I retreat back,
Clutching acres of cloth, hiding meekly behind racks.
Then SMACK into a two-some, I come to dead stop,
Confronting those strangers, their eyes about to pop!

Their words remain frozen in my little brain so dumb,
When seeing my bent frame, stretching fabric, turning numb!
"That poor twisted man... A handicap! That must be it!"
"But notice", said the other, "How fine that suit fits!"

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