Author:
Heinz Guderian and the Blue Notes
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Date Posted: 12/16/04 4:19am
In reply to:
Heinz Guderian and the Blue Notes
's message, "Re: so what I took it too far" on 12/16/04 4:03am
you know, with all of the bad publicity that modesto has been getting recently, it's a good thing they're doing something to bring some repect to the place. so help me god, we're one humanitarian abberation away from the exits on highway 99 gaining the same stigma as a fucking porn theater, with everyone circling around, waiting until no one sees them actually getting off of the freeway. i have visions of people, spanning the globe of humanity and stature, pissing and shitting themselves in lieu of a pit stop in the city that makes the town from "what's eating gilbert grape" look like fucking mecca.
>>>"nuts open up with a tear, bloody testacles laying on
>>dirty ground, infection could sideline whole team for
>>the remainder of season, oh nuts"
>>
>>"Modesto Nuts Play Hard, Get Happy Ending"
>>>
>>>
>>>>For those that don't know, Modesto has a single A
>>>>minor league baseball team. Formerly known as the
>>>>Modesto Athletics. Oakland pulled their minor league
>>>>team out of Modesto for a number of reasons (mainly
>>>>because it's a penny-pinching shithole), but we are
>>>>going to have another minor league team. What better
>>>>way to name a new team than to have the general
>>>>population decide through a contest. There were 5
>>>>finalists (funny, I never got a ballot). And the
>>>>winner is........................The Modesto Nuts.
>>>> I just changed my major to journalism so that
>I
>>>>can go work for the Modesto Bee sports section. I
>can
>>>>already read the headlines:
>>>>
>>>>"Stockton Ports crush Modesto Nuts"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts hanging by a string in playoff hunt"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts show guts: pull out victorious"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts hanging in there after defeat"
>>>>
>>>>"Modesto Nuts hope to make big splash in playoffs"
>>>>
>>>>"Sacramento Rivercats clip Nuts in upset"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts on a roll with help from big stick"
>>>>
>>>>"Modesto Nuts top latest poll"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts come home bruised and battered from roadtrip"
>>>>
>>>>"Modesto Nuts hit Stockton Ports Hard"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts stink: lose twentieth straight game"
>>>>
>>>>"Nuts swollen with pride after playoff victory"
>>>>
>>>>I just hope they have a team slogan contest as well
>>so
>>>>I can submit my entry:
>>>>
>>>>"Modesto Nuts: just inches away from being assholes"
>>>>
>>>>So what could be worse than the Modesto Nuts? It
>>isn't
>>>>worse as much as it is equally horrible. But one of
>>>>the other five finalists was, I shit you not, The
>>>>Modesto Slayers. At least we could have had multiple
>>>>mascots. Big furry models of Condit and Peterson
>>>>running around John Thurman Field pumping up the
>>>>crowd. Modestans are fucking brilliant.
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