Re: My Second Son -- Angelic Whispers and Reflections Forum

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Date Posted: 19:10:10 11/09/05 Wed
Author: Barb Reynolds
Subject: Re: My Second Son
In reply to: Lynn Smith 's message, "My Second Son" on 06:31:23 10/06/05 Thu

>On Aug.21,2004 I lost my second son in a car
>accident,he went to sleep while driving. He called me
>three times the day before to see what I was doing and
>to tell me he loved,if only I had of known it would
>have been the last time I would here his voice,to talk
>to him,to tell him I loved him. We were suppose to
>have my only grandsons' B-Day party on Sat.Aug.21 @
>2pm and instead we were sitting in the funeral home
>planning my son's funeral at that time. I believe God
>gave me signs all of Jason'life and I never saw them
>and now it's to late. It's so hard to talk to people
>I know because I'm afraid they'll say something about
>the accident so I hide from the people that was once
>my friends. The pain is so bad,I would have never
>dreamed that people live with pain like this. I had a
>four sons but the last one was stillborn and that pain
>was nothing like the pain of losing a child you loved
>for 27 years,sometimes I feel like maybe God is
>punishing me for not hurting enough from my last one
>so he took my Jason.
>I still have two sons still here but when I look into
>there eyes and see their pain that I can't make go
>away and the hurt goes on. Jason use to joke with me
>that he would always be my baby and I was suppose to
>take care of him and now I feel I felled him,I always
>told him that a Mother always knows when her child
>needs them the most and I would always know and be
>there but the day he left this world I didn't know,I
>didn't have a clue it was like any other day but
>that's the day my life changed for ever and will never
>be the samr again.
So sorry about your loss! I feel like we are in the same sinking boat...i lost my 26 yr. old daughter Melissa, she was my first and i feel like i have failed her also, i have always been here for her anytime she needed me.. I miss her so bad sometimes i don't think i can take another breath..her accident happened on her 26th birthday March 22,2005. she was 39 weeks pregnant with our first grandson. we lost him on that day and lost her 5:45 a.m. the following morning.. i feel for you cause i know where you are coming from.. wish somehow i could help but i know the answer so well..everyone keeps asking me how i'm doing and i think to myself how do you think i feel. Like i am slowly dying inside it is such an ache, much like when they went away to camp, but it always went away when they were safe at home..email me if you want...

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