Missin my baby girl Sam -- Angelic Whispers and Reflections Forum

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Date Posted: 10:41:46 02/12/06 Sun
Author: Tammy
Subject: :~( Missin my baby girl Sam

I lost my baby girl on June 12 1998 it was my very first funeral never dreamed it would be my child. I really miss her and feel i should be further along in my greif now but it feels like i just lost her yesterday i need a friend someone that has been through the same thing i have it feels like no one understands me and when i try to talk about her they just change the subject. I have done tried to overdose cause i want to be with her it's been 2 years since i done that no thoughts on it as of right now. She will be 8 yrs old this year and i have had another baby since Samantha. It's hard to raise another baby and give that baby the love she needs when you're still grieving over the baby in heaven. I even find myself calling Brittney by Samantha's name it's it really hurts me. My daughter now says that she plays with Samantha when she doesn't have anyone to play with. Brittney has her own little personallity. She was born premature weighing opposite of Samantha (Sam was 5 lbs 4ozs and Britt was 4 lbs 5 ozs) When she first said mama(first word) i cried cause i never got to hear Samantha say it. I feel sometimes that Britt has some of Sam in her. Me and my husband just bought a house and we had an extra room so he let me make it Samantha's room it's helps sometimes i just sit there like quiet time. Britt one day was in that room and i heard her crying i went into the room and she was looking through Samantha's box that i have with her stuff in it and she had Samantha's birthstone ring on her finger holding it. That's why i feel like she is some part of Samantha. My Britt has red hair(fire red and temper too) and baby blue eyes i said the whole time i was pregnant with her i hope she has blue eyes(got my wish on that too). Britt even told me that Sam had blue eyes like her(i never saw Sam's eyes). I know that i shouldn't be comparing Britt to Sam but it's just like something is there I don't know what it is. So if anyone can help please email me. I want to stop comparing. Tammy

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