| Subject: Please welcome your next CWA Icon... |
Author:
Jobber
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Date Posted: 20:29:15 03/03/02 Sun
[ The scene opens just outside of a small, old, 5 story building that looks like it was built in the 1800's and hasn't been repaired since. The weather looks to be quite pleasant, sunny. The scene fades to black. ]
[ The scene opens again, just outside of a glass door with "Rod Johnson" marked on it with big, bold black lettering. The cameraman opens the door. Inside is an old couch and a coffee table stacked high with magazines. Out comes a guy wearing a light blue 1970's style suit. ]
Rod: Are you guys from from the CWA? I have been waiting all morning! Come this way!
[ The guy goes down a small hall and takes a right, the camera follows. In this room, is a long, empty table. The guy sits down, puts his briefcase on the table, then looks up at the camera. ]
Rod: My name is "Big" Rod Johnson, Mr Jobber's hired manager. Mr. Jobber is a new comer to the CWA, he just signed his contract yesterday.
[ Rod opens his briefcase and takes out a small stack of papers. He then closes his briefcase and looks back at the camera. ]
Rod: Mr. Jobber signed up as a wrestler for the CWA, a heavily paid, wrestler. According to this contract...
[ Suddenly, without any warning, another guy in real nice black suit walks into the room. Rob gets up, shakes the man's hand and pulls a chair out for him. The man sits, followed by Rod. ]
Rod: This, my friend, is the CWA's newest wrestler, Mr. Jobber. I will let him speak right now.
Jobber: Thank you, Big Rod. I have signed up for the CWA for one reason...to prove that I can be successful without my ex-tag team partner, Scrub. My signing with the CWA has sent shockwaves...small shockwaves, throughtout the entire wrestling world. It was all over the internet, just minutes after I signed on that dotted line. I have received phone call after phone call. They all asked the same two questions.
[ Rod whispers something in Jobbers ear, Jobber nods and Rod leaves. ]
Jobber: They asked, why did you leave the EWA for the CWA? Its plain and simple. Competition. I tore through the EWA like a sneeze through a Kleenex. It was no fun beating each and every competitor within an inch of their life every single day. Then, the so called management, gets pissed off that I am doing better then what they wanted me to be. So instead of taking it up the ass, I decided to get out and sign with the CWA.
[Rod re-enters the room, with two cups of coffee. He hands one to Jobber and sits down with his. ]
Jobber: The second question was, who do I want to face first? Well, I looked at the roster and everyone looks like a pile of shit. These guys can't beat me! The only thing these guys have ever beaten, were their meat, since they can't get any. Who do we have here? Raymond Mercy? HA! Loser. Van Moore? I once watched a gay porno with a guy by the name of Van Moore in it. The Enigma? I don't know what an Enigma is...but it sound itchy. Havoc? I will wreck some havoc on your ass, boy. Austin Mack? There is only ONE mac in the CWA...and that is me!
Jobber: Fact of the matter is, boys, I don't care who you are, Rix Acey, Crome, Kaine Salvo, Johnny 2 Hotty, Suicide, Sean Dahmer, Steve Richtor or even Will Casey...yeah...that pubeless little snot. I am ready. You guys can't beat me. I will take you all on at the same time and I guarentee I will beat you all! I just one one person to set up. I am BEGGING someone...anyone...to challenge me to a match.
[ Jobber takes a drink of his coffee and accidently spills some of it on his suit. ]
Jobber: *BEEP* *BEEP* Son of a *BEEP* I just paid 50 bucks for this *BEEP* suit. OWWW! Why is this *BEEP* coffee so *BEEP* hot, Rod? *BEEP* Why isn't anyone helping me? I need some medical attention! Someone call the paramedics, right *BEEP* now! Why are you laughing? This is not *BEEP* funny! I cold have 8th degree burns here and you are not even helping! OWWW! Its hurts! I have never felt such *BEEP* pain before!
[ The scene fades to black as Jobber continues to hobble around, yelling, cursing and acting like an ass. ]
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