Author:
William Thornbush AKA MrSynnerster
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Date Posted: 09:56:39 03/06/02 Wed
The sounds of a basketball bouncing. . . The roar of a crowd. . . The picture fades in to Kobe Bryant standing at the free throw line in the LA Sports Arena. He is dressed in his yellow Lakers uniform. Sweat dripping from his face. The fans are screaming at the top of their lungs. Two rows of men dressed out in basketball uniforms are along the sides of the lines. All of them are poised to grab the ball if it doesn’t make it through the hoop. In slow motion, Kobe jumps and the ball is released in the air. As he jumps there is a close up of his sneakers. The ball floats in the air until finally passing through the orange ring. The action returns to normal motion as Kobe looks at the camera and smiles.
Kobe: “Hi, I’m two time World Champion Kobe Bryant. It’s obvious Kobe knows basketball, but what else do I know?”
The scene changes to a packed football stadium. A person in a black jersey with the number 69 on the back, white helmet and white pants catches a pass being thrown by the quarterback. As soon as the ball is caught, a man in a wearing a yellow number 8 jersey tackles from behind the man. As Number 8 tackles number 69 there is a close up of Number 8‘s shoes. The impact is so hard it knocks the man’s helmet off to reveal he has long dreadlocks. The man that did the tackling takes off his helmet to reveal that he is Kobe Bryant. Kobe looks at the camera and asks. . .
Kobe: “Does Kobe know football?”
The scene switches to a baseball stadium. Kobe Bryant is decked out in a baseball yellow number uniform and is standing at the plate waiting for a pitch. The pitcher is the same man with dreadlocks as before. He pitches the ball. Kobe hits a line drive. The ball clocks the pitcher right in the face on its way to the outfield. Kobe looks at the camera.
Kobe: “Does Kobe know baseball?”
As he starts to run the bases there is a close up of his shoes.
The scene changes to a boxing arena. Kobe dressed in yellow boxing trunks delivers an uppercut to his dreadlocks having opponent. Blood flies from the man’s mouth as he falls back. Kobe runs over to the man, bites off his ear and spits it at the camera then smiles.
Kobe: “Does Kobe know boxing?”
There is a shot of the shoes as Kobe dances around the ring.
The scene changes to a wrestling arena. Kobe Rock Bottoms a man with dreadlocks, the looks at the camera and says. . .
Kobe: “Does Kobe know wrestling?”
Kobe goes for the People’s elbow as the camera focus on his shoes.
The scene switches to a classroom. Kobe and the dreadlocks man are both dressed in private school uniforms while writing something on the chalkboard. The dreadlocks man writes Synner and Kobe writes Sinner. Once they are both finished writing a female voice off camera says.
Female Voice: “That’s right Kobe. You’re so smart.” (Kobe smile.) “Bill you didn’t do your homework, so you get an F.” (The Dreadlocks man hung his head in shame.)
Kobe looks at the camera and asks. . .
Kobe: “Does Kobe know academics?”
Two young ladies walk up and put their arms around Kobe. One girl looks exactly like singer Brandy Norwood and the other looks like Mistress Rose.
Kobe: “Does Kobe know the ladies?”
Both girls: “Oh yeah.”
Kobe: “You damn right.”
Kobe winks at the camera and he and the ladies walk off. There is one last shot of the shots and the Adidas symbol flashes across the screen and the scene fades out.
The scene changes to the living room of William and Rosalind Thornbush. William is sitting on the black leather couch dressed in some gray jogging pants and a black T-shirt. William has just finished watching the latest commercial for the new Kobe Bryant shoe. William looks at the camera and says
William: “I don’t think I need to say anything about this do I? Retaliation will be forth coming, but I have other fish to fry right now. First I wanna talk about my match Saturday. Why the hell did they stick me with Austin Mack again? The guy has absolutely no sense of humor. I’d rather be teamed up with Will Casey. At least he and I could crack a couple of jokes before the match. But nevertheless. I’m sure we’ll crack some jokes while we’re wrestling each other. I look forward to seeing his promos of me. As for Richter. There isn’t too much to say. He may be the world champion, but I’m not impressed yet. But that brings me to my next subject. I wanna talk about the state of the CWA. What the hell is going on? Where is everyone? Xavier is fired. Tiffany is injured. Austin Mack is doing his tough guy brooding thing, and our New World Champion is MIA. Which I don’t blame Mr. Richter. I’d run and hide to if I had to face me. (Pauses for a moment as though he’s pondering something.) “That sounded pretty conceded did it. That’s so uncharacteristic of me. It’s bad enough that I’m doing one of those typical watching video, talking shit type of promo’s but now, I’m sounding like everyone else. Where are my wacky adventurous?(The phone rings. William looks at the phone, then looks back at the camera and smiles.) “Ask and ye shall receive. One wacky adventure coming up. (He picks up the phone.)
William: “Hello.
The scene switches to Rosalind Thornbush sitting in a limousine talking on her cell phone. She is wearing an aqua blue mid-drift shirt, which shows off her navel ring, bellbottom blue jeans with black rose designs at the bottom and a straw sun hat.
Rosalind: “Hello baby, what are you doing?”
The scene splits the William chillin’ on the couch on one side, and Rosalind riding in the limo on the other side.
William: “I am bored out of my mind. I’m suppose to be cutting a promo, but it’s just not happening right now.”
Rosalind: “Why don’t you call up one of your friends?”
William: “They’re all busy. Lucas is busy working on the CWA magazine, which is doing an article on me. I might add. Jude is working as a full time cameraman now, so he’s covering the house show in New Jersey tonight. James Thompson has now become an Enigma. He’s not returning my calls. With Gene E still in the hospital, Anastasia is busy watching over his business right now. Johnny’s in New York. And you’re in Atlanta for the Austin show.”
Rosalind: “Yeah, and after that I gotta go to New York for that photo shoot. I’m sorry hon. Why don’t you start training for your match?”
William: “My so called trainer Uncle Pete has not been seen since he got his hands, ahh hand rather on our video camera. I haven’t even had a chance to see the tape. Even Austin Mack got a peek at it.”
Rosalina: “Aww poor baby. Don’t worry. If you’re a good boy we might just have to do it again. Well I gotta go. You stay out of trouble. Love you.”
William: “Love you too. Bye.
They hang up the phone and the Rosalind half of the screen disappears. William looks back at the camera with a puzzled look on his face.
William: “What the hell just happened? That wasn’t a wacky adventure. All that was was a status report of all my people. That’s sucks. Oh wait. Maybe this is one of those set-up Promos.”
William feels a tug at his foot. He looks done to see the Kimono dragon given to him by Drake (Lance) Ryden several months ago.
William: (Looking at the camera) “What recap would be complete without Scooby? That’s the dragon’s name by the way. Rosalind named him. Don’t ask me why. At first I hated this thing. But I’ve gotten use to him being around. (picks up the dragon.) “Let’s go Scooby. We gotta get out the house. (Looks at the camera) “Something’s gotta happen sooner or later. I’m William Thornbush AKA MrSynnerster. Weirdness always follows me. Two fingers people, Peace.
Scene fades out. . .
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