| Subject: Richtor, Demon, We Didnt Miss You |
Author:
Hardcore J2H
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Date Posted: 20:59:40 03/07/02 Thu
(Hardcore Johnny Oh My GODDIE 2 Hotty is in his plush lockerroom. He is laying on the black leather couch with his arms behind his head. The 52' inch tv that has been provided to him is currently turned on to WWF Smackdown. There is much hype to it since it is live and the Rock is making his much anticipated return. J2H is fighting to stay awake, thinking to himself
J2H-"Goddamn, this is almost as bad as a Tiffany Cross match."
{He continues watching the wrestling, he is in his wrestling shorts and without a shirt on. He has a bottle of evian water sitting on the wooden coffee table next to him. He picks it up and starts to take a drink but spits it out when the Rock mentions his name.}
J2H-"WHAT!"
Rock on Tv-"So this Jabroni in another federation, one i wont even mention, has the gall to go around pretending to be me. Using all my catchphrases, changing my merchandise around, and claiming to be the People's Champion."
{J2H is sitting up now with his elbows resting on his knees, he still cant believe the Rock is calling him out.}
Rock-"I am going to tell you this once, and only once Mr. Hardcore. I Am the Rock, and if you ever, EVER, pretend to be me again, i will lay the smackdown on your candyass. If you smell what the Rock, is cooking."
{The rocks music hits and he walks over to the turnbuckle and does his usual pose. J2H is sitting on the couch in stunned silence. He has just been called out by a wrestler in another federation. Suddenly he has an idea.}
He stands up and walks over to where his cell phone is laying. He picks it up and begins to call Ty Dhomie. Ty answers.
Ty-"Hello."
J2H-"Ty, this is Johnny, you are not going to believe this. Have you been watching smackdown?"
Ty-"No, i dont pay attention to any of the other companies why?"
(Realizing that Ty did not see the incident J2H decides to add some creative differences to it.)
J2H-"The Rock just called me out."
Ty-"What do you mean called you out."
J2H-"He got in the ring and told everyone about how great I am and that he wants to be like me. He said that he has been copying me since college."
Ty-"You didnt go to college."
J2H-"YEah i didnt understand that either."
Ty-"Is there a point to all of this?"
J2H-"YEah yeah yeah, im getting to it. Anyway, i want you to call up Vince McMahon and arrange for a one time deal for me to fight the Rock."
Ty-"I hope you're joking."
J2H-"Think about it. J2H-Vs-Rock, cwa-vs-wwf, think about the plubicty."
Ty-"John, that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. Not only will it not happen, but i feel dumber having listened to you. Steve Richter is back, the Demon is back, the COmmisoner is back, and you call me up to talk about the Rock. Dont ever waste my time like this again."
{Ty hangs up on J2H and J2H stands in his room in a stunned stupor. Not fully understanding exactly what just happend he calls Ty back.}
Ty-"Hello."
J2H-"Think about all the money you could make."
Ty-"NO."
{Ty hangs up one more time. J2h calls him again.}
Ty-"NO, No NO, if you ask again you can fight him in the wwf because im going to fire you. Now leave me alone."
{J2H hangs up his cell phone.}
J2H-"Damn. Why he gotta be hatin. Talkin all this jive about Richter and Demon. Like they are important.
Steve-O may be the world champ, but im the people's champ, and i think we all know which is the more coveted title. Thank you very much. And to be honest, its not like anyone missed him while he was gone this week. In fact, i think this has been the best week in the history of the company. And as for this Demon character returning, i dont think anyone even knew he was gone! Making all these outrageous claims about killing someone, give me a break. There are easier ways to get a push then to stab someone in the back. Speaking of killing, where the hell has Laura been? I understand that she is afraid to face me, because i would be scared to fight me too. But this is ridiculous, i mean she is asking like Destructor. I mean, sure, i've beaten lots of people, but they at least had the decency to respond to my name calling. This bitch hasnt been on tv in almost a week. I guess she is busy with spring break and that girls gone wild thing and all. But fuck this is Cwa, get your act together....Why the hell am i talking to myself?"
{Realizing that if anyone had heard or seen him doing this that he would probably be out of a job J2H shuts up and walks back over to the couch and the scene fades to white}
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