Top 10 Bored List -- Planet Boredom

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Date Posted: 17:20:05 06/23/99 Wed
Author: Omie
Subject: Top 10 Bored List

TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL YOU'RE HOPELESSLY BORED:
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10) When you eat rice one grain at a time... with a fork.
9) When you poke your finger through a hole in the fence to see if the neighbor's large foaming attack dog bites.
8) When you start reading your mother's old romance novels.
7) Trying to burp the national anthem without puking halfway through.
6) When you visit Brain Candy more than 10 times a day.
5) When you have thoughts like, "Vanilla Ice wasn't all that bad, just a misunderstood artist."
4) When you look through the fingerhut (fingerButt) catalog and pick out things you want to buy your family for Christmas since you don't have to make payments until Jan. 2000.
3) When you play doorbell ditch without the ditch.
2) Counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop.
*1) When you find yourself oddly unable to turn the channel when watching the discovery channel special, "The wondrous in-depth world of wild boar mating."
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*NOTE- Please do not attempt to recreate these bored situations, may cause dismemberment, emotional trauma, deportation, incarceration, bodily harm, death, hairy palms, and from what my mother told me- blindness.*

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