Re: SURGERY TUESDAY -- Our Place To Get Together

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Date Posted: 08:37:23 04/29/05 Fri
Author: Annemarie
Subject: Re: SURGERY TUESDAY
In reply to: Pat 's message, "Re: SURGERY TUESDAY" on 22:35:04 04/28/05 Thu

Hi all,
Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support. Despite the emercency second surgery, the complications and the ICU stay, we are home now!!!!!! We were going to stay in London as there is still a chance for haemorrhage and being closer would have been good, but we also had to worry about keeping his stitches moist and we have a machine at home for his breathing that we can hook water into and put a tent over his face that we wouldn't be able to do at the hotel. We also need to keep the humidifier going...also not in the hotel, and someone needs to help him get the chunks out and help him when he chokes. Bruce, being a nurse, is much better at that than me, lol. He is in significant pain, can't swallow properly-he keeps choking on water. He hasn't had real food since Monday, but he is able to get down broth very very very slowly. His face isn't as swollen, but his body hurts all over.
The whole thing was so surreal. I knew there was trouble when I was in the waiting room for his surgery...they told me they would be out to talk to me by 6 at the latest but most likely by 5:30. Well...5:30, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00....nobody is coming and there is no desk person at night to call back and check. The nurse was coming out to tell everybody about their family members but me...about 7:15 I start crying and a really nice woman came over to check on me. The nurse came out to ask about their father (he had been in surgery since about 8 am for tongue cancer) and she asked them to check for me. The nurse kind of looked and said she'd send someone out...it was the look that worried me. They came out and told me Jesse had been in recovery since about 6:15 and I could only see him for a second. Blood was (literally) gushing out his nose. He was packed and all I could see were his eyes, which were swollen shut, and his purple lips, he was shivering. They told me he would be fine and they would get me in about 45 minutes. well....back to the waiting room. Nurses and dr's coming in and out to tell everyone their family member was fine and there I sit...waiting....again. The family from before was still there and they were so good to me. Such a nice family. I have to remember to call the cancer clinic and find a way to get a thank you card to them..anyway...finally their doctor comes out and tells them their dad is done and he is doing well...my nurse comes out and says...can you please come out into the hallway? Not a good sign. I go out into the hallway and she says...we can't stop the bleeding in your son. I think my heart dropped and I started crying again. She says "we're going to have to take him back into surgery, you can go in and see him for a few minutes". It was just so unreal. I go in to see him and he is sooooo small looking. Blood coming out his nose..they must have changed the gauze twice while I was in there....just a couple of minutes. They tell me the surgery will only take about 20 minutes and they will come and get me within one hour. Well....2 hours later..still no nurse...finally at around 11pm the dr's come in to let me know that there were some complications during the second surgery (like I couldn't have guessed) They finally got the bleeding under control but his blood pressure took off...just the opposite of what they would have expected it to do with blood loss. The doctor figured it was related to his previous brain injury but didn't elaborate. I don't know about Jesse but I almost had a stroke on the spot. Anyway..they had to find an ICU bed for him. They sent me home from the recovery room. I probably looked like I was going to collapse. Hadn't eaten since Monday since I couldn't leave Jesse or chance leaving the waiting room in case they came looking. I was exhausted and stressed and well..just sick with worry. Found a hotel and collapsed. Hospital called to let me know he was in Pediatric Critical Care unit so went there first thing. The family from the waiting room the day before was nice enough to check up on us....you meet such nice people in hospitals. Jesse looked horrible. He kept choking on water he was so swollen and was still having difficulty with blood pressure and a little bleeding. He slept all morning and most of the afternoon. Around 4 pm he started perking up. Everyone that was praying...a huge THANK YOU!!! It obviously helped. He got up at 4 for about 20 minutes. He had to be suctioned out a lot...which made me almost pass out, but got lots of chunky stuff......yuckyuckyuckyuckyuck....out. I am not a chuncks person. He tried some soup....gagged on it and ended up wearing most of it but he was trying so hard. He was such a little trouper. He was good enough to move out of critical care by 7:00 pm. He was so frustrated..he couldn't eat, couldn't talk, was in searing pain. He was on morphine IV and shots from Tuesday night until this morning, in addition to codiene syrup. We have some codeine syrup and some percocet, which we have to grind up and mix in baby food for him. Of course he gags on that too but he's trying really hard.
We had a (expletive) of a ride home. Couldn't turn on the heat or vents so we wouldn't dry up his stitches or he could haemorrhage and it was RAINING. Must have been a convoy leaving London to come to Kincardine. 40 mph all the way to Clinton. In Clinton got stuck on the road while a huge grocery delivery truck tried to ....oh heck..I don't know what it was trying to do. After about 10 minutes I made myself a detour and beat it out of there...Jesse was gagging and chocking. The van overheated and I had to put water in something that Bruce tried to explain to me over a cell phone...grrrrrrr...finally made it home 2 and a half hours later. We can usually make it to London in an hour and a half. Jesse was in so much pain...we ground him up his meds...Bruce went to the pharmacy for the codeine, put Jesse in the bathroom for a bath so that he could wash up, relax his muscles and the steam would moisten his stitches. That helped him a little till the meds kicked in.
WHAT A WEEK!!!!!! Think I might take a bath.....maybe get a bottle of wine and just spend one total night just watching movies with Jesse and the boys. Humidifiers going...temperature inside is perfect. Bruce got everything ready so nicely. Please keep praying that Jesse doesn't haemorrhage anymore. We were told to rush right back if he started again, and that there was still a chance this could occur.
I just pray this ONE TIME things will work out for Jesse and he won't haemorrhage anymore. He is more comfortable at home. He was so upset when I left the hospital. He didn't want me to leave.....just like when he was a baby. It about broke my heart...great big 18 year old young adult who wants his mommy with him....who wouldn't be moved.
Thank you so much for all of the prayers and support. I'm going for my mental health break now, lol
Annemarie
Let no one ever cause you to doubt your worth

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Replies:

Re: SURGERY TUESDAY -- Pat, 12:36:24 05/02/05 Mon