I wish you'd known....I hope one day you'll find this page.. -- The Lair

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Date Posted: 12:17:44 10/15/01 Mon
Author: disguisted with myself
Subject: I wish you'd known....I hope one day you'll find this page..

I can only hope that one day you find this place and see just how much I love you all and how much you have always ment to me.
For so long I miss the talks with you Antia. I wondered if you ever call again Dave. All that time I wish for Andrew to come back and for Mo to send me that picture. You too Kel I miss your letters very much.Just as dubs.
I wish you could see that you meant so much for me and that I miss you all so very much. You will never know how much.
And how much I would like the things to be as they used to. But I cannot. I cannot talk to you and I hate myself so very much it hurt so much. Everytime I talk to someone I wonder, am I really being nice? Do I bother them and are they just polite to me? Why don't you all just tell me how bad I am? Why don't you hit me so I stop being. I wish so much to be death. I don't want to life, I have nothing to life for. No reason to live nobody to life for.
I have no one to wonder where I am, nobody to wait for me nobody wants me and it scares me to think that someone could passibly want me because I couldn't do a thing anyway.
I miss you so much and hope you don't hate me as much as I hate you. I am sorry for all that hurt that I have caused.
I hope you are all well. Please take care of yourself.

I love you all

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