| Subject: Loneliness |
Author:
Faeirex
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Date Posted: 15:31:47 05/12/02 Sun
Staring resolutely ahead of her, Faeirex didn't turn at the sound of the faeries greeting each other. She regretted her harsh words, but there would be no changing them. It was better for all concerned if she had no dealings with Laeriel.
She couldn't help the gnawings of jealousy though. Laeriel had someone to love, someone to take care of her. She had nobody, and couldn't ever. One by one, she had watched the people she cared about die, and Cellius had seen to it that there would never be any others.
That was the real reason she hated faeries. With a few words, he had effectively brought an end to any relationship she could ever have had. He had severed her link with the rest of the world, condemned her to a lifetime of loneliness.
The saddest part about it was that she couldn't even hate him, not properly. In that way, she had not changed from the child she had been thousands of years ago, full of light and love, but with no capacity for hate. Since then she had put up so many barriers, the ruthless exterior a mere illusion to spare herself from further hurt.
But hurt she would be, again and again and again. She was caught between two worlds, lacking the power to pull herself from their deadly tug of war but fighting all the same. And hurting others in the process. Destruction fell from her fingers like rain and where she walked, death would follow.
Galad...
The images flashed into her mind unbidden.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes filling with tears. He couldn't hear her now. She couldn't hurt him any more. He was safe.
And she was spiralling out of control, into a future filled with uncertanity and torment. She sat down on a nearby bench, burying her head in her hands and blinking back the tears.
She would not cry.
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