Tag Team interview -- WIW - Roleplay Board

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Date Posted: 20:34:34 07/01/02 Mon
Author: Love and Peace
Subject: Tag Team interview

(WIW reporter Anne Hillcroft makes her way down a hallway toward a locker room. She carries a microphone and talks over her shoulder to a cameraman.)

Anne: . . . just because I'm not a wrestler. Honestly, they could be more polite. Oh, here it is.

(Anne and the cameraman stop in from of a door bearing a large card that reads "Love and Peace." She grips the mic firmly in her left hand and knocks on the door with her right. The door is pulled open and the seven-foot figure of Sister Chastity Perpetual sticks her head out into the hall.)

Sister Chastity: Ah, most gracious greetings, sister. Do come in.

Anne: Thank you, Sister Chastity.

(Anne and the cameraman enter the locker room to find Nicollette D. Wolfwood sprawled out on her side across a wooden bench, smoking a cigarette. An open cooler of drinks sits on the floor. Mixed in with the bottled water are several bottles of Smirnoff Ice and Ace pear cider. These obviously belong to Nicollette, as an open Ace sits next to her on the bench. In her full nun's habit, Sister Chastity closes the door behind her and moves into the room.)

Nicollette: Hey! You guys want a drink? Help yourselves.

Anne: No thanks, we're working now.

(Anee shoots a stern look at the cameraman, who was reaching for a Smirnoff Ice. He looks meekly at her and steps back from the cooler. Sister Chastity seats herself on a large chair next to Nicollette's bench, then gestures for Anne to have a seat.)

SC: Now, sister, as thou art working, thou must have come to speak a word or two with us.

Anne: Yes, actually. You two are the new Tag Team champions, after a very hard-fought match, I might add. I'd like to get your comments on a few things.

Nic: Sure.

Anne: First of all, the former champions, the Dark Stars, have left. Your previous competition, the Dirty Dawgs, have also left. What do you think this says about Love and Peace as a team?

Nic: Well, if you're expecting us to ramble on about how we drove all of our competition out of the profession, that's not going to happen. We didn't.

SC: Indeed. T'was a weakness of character in their own souls that urged them to seek other employment. When one doth compete within the squared circle, one must needs be prepared to emerge victorious or defeated at any time. The Lord helps those who help themselves, t'is true enough. However, when t'is nay thy time to overcome, thou shalt not overcome.

Nic: Some people just don't handle losing well. If they can't win, they don't want to play. We just toughed it out longer than they did, that's all.

Anne: Perhaps so. How do you feel about not being on the card at the July 3 "Rampage?"

SC: Of course, t'is a bit of a disappointment. We shall nay retreat from competition, and had planned to defend our Tag Team championship against all those who would desire to take them from us. None hath surfaced thus far, and our esteemed Commissioner and President Hythe hath seen fit to leave such things be for now.

Nic: We'll be at "Rampage," though, and we'll be watching. We'll be ready for whatever happens. Dolores is going to take White Devil to the learning tree and beat him with every stick on it. That part's going to be fun. It's what Jesus would do.

Anne (looking a little confused) : At the moment, there are two other tag teams in the WIW. Storm, of course, and now The Strays. You've fought Storm before, but what are your thoughts on The Strays, especially after their comments to Trash Strife?

Nic: Well, there's not much to say right now. WIW is a little short on tag team competition at the moment, but anything can happen. We'll see what turns up in that regard. The Strays may be a tag team, but they aren't acting like one.

SC: Indeed. The pair of them calling out a lone man doth be most ungracious.

Nic: From what I understand, Dead Cat fancies himself some kind of gothed-out prophet of gloom and doom. His little lackey boy has all sorts of mental problems. I certainly don't argue that children and the mad are considered particularly blessed and speak truth and all that, but it's hard to take those two seriously.

SC: Thou must needs forgive mine tag team partner, sister. On occasion, her skepticism doth pervade her divine teachings.

Nic: Oh, come on! Don't tell me you buy into that whiny, self-loathing, Earth-is-Hell, I-hate-myself-and-want-to-die, no-one-understands-my-pain-and-suffering, I'll-die-a-virgin-because-I-have-no-social-skills garbage!

SC (shoots Nicollette an injured look) : There be no sin or shame in dying a virgin.

Nic: Sorry. Maybe not for you, but honestly! We don't even know if the official backgrounds for those two are real. They could be a couple of spoiled rich brats from Lake Dallas with access to tons of money and loving homes who can't stand to do anything even remotely well-adjusted or normal because it isn't the cool thing. The vast majority of those weak, whining, pathetic little virgin gothlings are complete posers who know nothing about any of the subjects they babble on endlessly about. I wouldn't be surprised if their biggest experience of pain and agony was last week when they were shopping at The Gap and the store ran out of Abercrombie and Fitch, so they had to buy Tommy Hilfiger. Oh, the angst!

SC: Such as it may be, but should they choose to focus their efforts as a tag team, t'would be a gross misjudgement on our part to overlook them. We, too, hath been overlooked, and nay so very long ago.

Anne (amused) : That sounds almost like what Michael Merlin said a few weeks ago.

SC: Prithee, sister, speak not of two such as ourselves in the same breath as that one. Any who would do such to poor, innocent babes as did he, doth nay merit the title of human.

Nic (her expression hardening) : Yeah, that's true. I thought he was vaguely amusing before, but after that, I should kill him where he stands. Merlin isn't our concern right now, though. Defending our Tag Team belts at every show is our concern. We don't run and we don't hide, and a seven-foot-tall nun is pretty hard to miss, if you know what I mean.

Anne: Well, if that's a challenge, I'm sure you'll be getting a response soon. Thanks very much, ladies.

SC: Always a pleasure, sister.

(Anne and the cameraman leave the locker room, the cameraman surreptitiously grabbing a bottle of Ace on his way out. Sister Chastity and Nicollette are seen for a brief moment relaxing and resuming a previous conversation as the scene fades to black.)

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