Re: Desktop Themes -- Unicorn Short Story Forum

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Date Posted: 05:49:19 12/29/03 Mon
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB07a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.169
Subject: Re: Desktop Themes
In reply to: LeAnn 's message, "Desktop Themes" on 19:55:10 11/29/03 Sat

Hi LeAnn - thanks for posting this 'classic'. I think it looks better without the double entendre words being in caps as most people reading this will be pc literate enough to recognise most of the terminology.

Hope to see more of your work posted here or on the poetry forum.

Kind regards

Raphaela

>I was asked by Raphaela, herself, to post this
>here. I really hope you all enjoy it. Raphaela I
>change the caps as you suggested to see how it looks
>and reads. Thanks!
>
>Hello there, my name is Ram. Ram Hard Drive.
>I want to tell you a little story that happen to me
>back in 98. You see I'm a piano player a prodigy
>of shorts. Got some really good key strokes. I
>was on a tour of 16 gigs, sitting looking out the
>windows when in walked this cute little server.
>Man was she a looker, a real player, a hotbot.
>I knew right away I had to add her to my favorites.
>I was thinking to myself what would be the
>protocol to passwords with her. Looking
>at her software I knew I had to explorer. She
>looked into a valley girl with an upgrade. A
>silicon valley upgrade if you know what
>I mean. She had one hot buad. So I walked up to
>her and said Hi I am Ram, Ram Hard Drive and
>what might your name be. She said Meg, Meg
>Dotcom. You can call me Dot. I could tell she
>had been working in the sun systems by her tan.
>Man did I want to interface with her. Right away
>I caught her scanning me. I asked her what was
>her outlook and she said not real well. It seems
>she had been in a big crash with her last boyfriend.
>Bill Gates he was into power management
>and had done her wrong tossed her right in the
>recycle bin down in her neighborhood. I was
>wondering what would be the format of our
>relationship. I knew I wanted to defragment her
>and show her my huge gif. I think in the end I'll be
>the one that gets jpeged. I tell her I have a high
>icq, would she want to go for some hotmail.
>She says I am very active-x and want you to
>unzip my file. She went right for the start menu
>and grabbed my documents. She looked at my
>microsoft and asked if it was compressed.
>I said no would you like to compress it? I knew
>I was caught in her web, like a butterfly in a net.
>She was driving me lycos. I was getting excite.
>I said I have a dll, want to run my program and
>I could put my wormdrive in your ascii. She
>looked at me and ran her thumbnail down my
>bat. I went all num lock as she began to scroll down
>and started to random access my hard disk.
>As she pulled down my dvd, she ran her fingers
>over my cd burner. At this point I was going to
>multimedia on her tools. She got me with a chip
>in her tool and I cursor. I pushed her back and
>went down on her yahoo as my tongue began to
>run quicktime. She was no scsi. I wondered if she
>was into microsoft binder as I opened her
>drivespace, so I reached into my briefcase
>and pulled out my notebook. I had been working
>on her for 30 minutes, but she had not
>downloaded yet. I knew she needed some
>diagnostics, some real troubleshooting.
>So I went in my notebook and went to my
>help file. I was on aol, she was displaying her
>mouse with her right click exposed, but by
>this time I had gone floppy and had to reboot.
>A backup disk is what I needed, so I had to
>connect to the network to contact the disk
>doctor. Told him I might have caught a virus,
>my disk may be corrupt. So he ran a virus scan,
>but one more look at her hotbot and I was hard
>drive again. So I began again to open her inbox
>and installed my hard disk. I began to jpeg
>her right here in the microsoft office. Feeling the
>desktop, I was afraid of a crash, so I engaged
>my internet lock. I went to a secure
>connection as she compressed my agent,
>we both started to download as she screamed
>yahoo. You might think I was dimm for doing this
>little server, but did we ever syncronize. We
>pulled out our napster and started disk cleanup
>as we finished running our applications. I knew
>I'd never delete this memory file. I asked for her
>registry as she smiled and wrote it on my
>motherboard. As I walked away she hit the
>power button and there was nothing left but a
>blank screen.
>
>� September 26, 2000
>by The Wolves I.E. Richard and LeAnn

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