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Date Posted: 12:55:18 11/26/02 Tue
Author: Soul
Author Host/IP: bgrcvx033054.prexar.com / 142.167.33.54
Subject: Another Night at the Raw Cafe (Lifted from PWtorch.com)


By Pat McNeill, Torch Columnist
Nov 26, 2002, 9:38am


The Mighty Brand Extension Players Present:
"Monday Night at the Raw Café"

Scene: The Raw Cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings (played by Kevin Dunn, Jim Ross, Pat Patterson, Gerald Briscoe and Jerry Lawler) with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter the cafe.

Man (Brian Gewirtz): You sit here, dear.

Wife (Lita): All right.

Man (to Waitress): Evening!

Waitress (Stephanie McMahon): Good Evening!

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress (reading off the specials): Well, there's Steven Richards and Test; Trish Stratus and Victoria; Shawn Michaels and The Game; Batista, Ric Flair and The Game; Booker T, Jericho and The Game; Game, Katie Vick, the Big Red Machine and Game; Game, RVD, Game, Game, Bischoff and Game; Game, Regal, Game, Game, Jeff Hardy, Game, Hurricane and Game...

Vikings (starting to chant): Game, Game, Game, Game...

Waitress: ...Game, Game, Game, Bubba Dudley and Game; Game, Game, Game, Game, Game, Game, Booker T, Game, Game, Game...

Vikings (singing): ...Game! Lovely Game! It's all about The Game!

Waitress: ...or an Elimination Chamber with Booker T, RVD, Chris Jericho, HBK and Kane with two tons of steel, a mile of chain, bulletproof glass chambers and with a metal roof on top and The Game.

Wife: Have you got anything without The Game?

Waitress: Well, there's Game, RVD, Michaels and Game. That's not got much Game in it.

Wife: I don't want ANY Game!

Man: Why can't she have RVD, Jericho, Game and Booker T?

Wife: THAT'S got The Game in it!

Man: Hasn't got as much Game in it as Game, RVD, Michaels and Game, has it?

Vikings: Game, Game, Game, Game... (crescendo through next few lines)

Wife: Could you do the RVD, Jericho, Game and Booker without The Game then?

Waitress: Ugghh!

Wife: What do you mean "Ugghh"? I don't like The Game!

Vikings: Lovely Game! Time to play The Game!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: It's all about The Game! Wonderful Game!

Waitress: Shut up!

(The Vikings stop.)

Waitress: Bloody Vikings! You can't have RVD, Jericho, Game and Booker without The Game.

Wife (shrieks): I don't like The Game!

Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have The Game. I love it! It's that damn good! I'm having Game, Game, Game, Game, Game, Game, Booker T, Game, Game, Game and Game!

Vikings (singing): Game, Game, Game, Game. Lovely Game! Wonderful Game!

Waitress: Shut up! (To the Man) We don't have Booker T this week.

Man: Well could I have her Game instead of the Booker T then?

Waitress: You mean you want Game, Game, Game, Game, Game, Game...?

(But it is too late and the Vikings drown out her words.)

Vikings (singing elaborately): Game, Game, Game, Game. Lovely Game! It's all about The Game! Game, Ga-a-a-a-a-me, Game, Ga-a-a-a-a-me, Game. Wonderful Game! Time to play The Game! He is The Game, you don't want to play him! He's in control, no way you can take him! He is The Game, and he makes the rules...

(The Wife gets upset and storms off, dragging the man behind her. The Waitress shrugs and goes back to the kitchen, where she meets the Chef.)

Waitress: Nothing yet.

Chef (Vince McMahon): Hmmm. I notice we're not getting as many customers as we used to. What's the problem?

Waitress: I'm not sure. But I think we're going to need more Game.

(With deepest apologies to Eric Idle, Terry Jones, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, and the memory of Graham Chapman.)

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