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Date Posted: 12:14:35 08/11/00 Fri
Author: oyster
Author Host/IP: 56kdialpe15.kdsi.net / 208.136.226.143
Subject: Re: eh?
In reply to: sic _inthe_soul 's message, "Re: eh?" on 05:38:58 08/11/00 Fri

> oyster, why r u such a scumbag? now i bet u r going to
> say i shouldnt make that assumption about u until ive
> met u, right? well guess what asshole, u r doing the
> same thing by degrading my art...an opinion or critic
> of it it fine....but u did neither...if thats not how
> u feel, fine...i knoe a lot of ppl dont feel the same
> as me...but dont belittle my work b/c u obviously dont
> understand it...why dont u try to get to understand it
> first, before u degrade it....and in the mean time,
> fuck off
> ~sic~


I wasn't going to tell you not to make an assumption about me until we've met. That is pretty much what your 'friend' told me not to do in this forum.

What I wrote was my opinion. If you want a critique, here is a short one:

Some of your poetry seems as if you are using words that you normally wouldn't. Maybe you do speak like that, but it just seems unnatural and forced. It's like you're trying to write it to impress people or write the way people told you that a poem is supposed to be written... whatever that means.

Sometimes you use words that don't make sense or terms that don't go together. An example from the first poem:

"My heartache’s the last sound
To be heard inside."

You don't hear heartache, you feel it. If you'd write that you hear your heart break or that you feel your heart ache, that would make sense.

The poems towards the bottom of the page seem to get more natural.

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