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Date Posted: 14:59:18 05/07/02 Tue
Author: Benjamin
Subject: Money

Hello Logan and Emma George,

My name is Benjamin.

Welcome to the world.

You will be censored from reading this of course. Until you reach a certain age of course. Perhaps for another 15 to 20 years. (be sure to block little emma and logan from all the undesirable web sites such as this Family Forum).

When that age will be I cannot say. That will be up to your Fathers. I am not your Father. If I were your Father I would begin teaching you to read, right here, right now. But maybe I would not be a good Father. Maybe I don't understand why you are here or why you were brought here. Your Fathers might say it is the Lord's Will. Perhaps they would be right in saying this.

Today I want to teach you a lesson about money. Money is everything. If you make less than $1,000,000 per year then you are a very lazy and un-motivated individual. Perhaps quite stupid as well. Yes, I said One Million Dollars per year. And of course that is after the so-called income tax, which I have never seen any Law that says we are required to pay.

Your Fathers sign their names to the so-called 1040 forms under penalty of perjury each and every year without fail, acknowledging in writing that they believe that they do in fact owe this so-called income tax and by doing so also sign away their Fifth Amendment Right against self incrimination which the Founding Fathers of 1776 United States of America fought so hard to secure for us all. You may hear nothing about this throughout the wonderful 12 year government "education" program which your Fathers have in store for you.

Don't try to learn too fast. Don't worry, they will force you to stay back with the stupid and slow kids. Smart or stupid they will make sure it takes you 12 years before you get the hallowed high school diploma. And once you land a job with that big corporation they will make sure that you only move forward just so fast. There will be no hope of making the minimum required income level as outlined above. You will then be on the vaunted 40/40/40 plan which all the Nikken people make fun of at their meetings.

I have not signed my name to the so-called 1040 form in over ten years perhaps. I may be put in jail for this. Perhaps you would both be best off by learning how to sign this form immediately. Maybe they should make kids pay income tax too and report how much allowance is given to them by their Fathers (yours will probably be very small, but more than some starving children in Afghanistan as you will no doubt be told). And in fact I think you should call the IRS immediately if you see your Fathers ever accepting any cash and not reporting it to said agency. This is a High Crime of Treason. This is why I am in a cement cell at this time. It is not pretty in here you understand.

Well more later kids. I�m tired and have to get up and go to work early tomorrow morning. Or should I say I have the privilege of going to a fine job and working on a long and prosperous career. Perhaps your Fathers will comment on this article. Perhaps not.

Goodnight.

Benjamin

Please post your shiny new Social Security Numbers which you have both been given already here for us all to see!

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Replies:

Re: Money -- Doug, 15:02:09 05/07/02 Tue
- Re: Money -- Johnny Paycheck, 16:33:31 05/08/02 Wed
  - Re: Money -- Benjamin, 16:41:53 05/08/02 Wed