Thats the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Keep us updated. -- TEXAS BEAUTY PAGEANTS COMPLAINT BOARD

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Date Posted: 13:22:26 06/26/02 Wed
Author: love a good laugh.
Subject: Thats the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Keep us updated.
In reply to: ! 's message, "Saw this on another board & had to share" on 11:33:32 06/07/02 Fri

>HA! Shows what all YOU know! I'M the Mystery Basher!
>-- No name, 11:26:09 06/05/02 Wed
>That�s right, I�m the Mystery Basher and ya�ll better
>watch out cause I�m MAD! That darn woman next door
>just let her dog poop in my petunia bed again. Boy, is
>that woman gonna get it if I ever get the nerve to go
>talk to her.
>
>Plus, Jerry Springer�s over, my soaps haven�t come on
>yet, I been PMSing for the last 7 years, I ripped out
>my favorite pair of stretch pants so I have to go get
>some new ones and the stupid Kmart�s gone bankrupt. So
>now I gotta go down to Wal Mart and they don�t have my
>favorite Jacklin Smith collection so I�m gonna have to
>buy something that�s not even DESIGNER, can you
>believe it?
>
>I tell ya, I�m ticked off! I went down to the 7-11
>this morning to get me some RC Cola to go with my pork
>rinds, and that furriner behind the counter gave me a
>funny look, you�d think he never saw anyone in big
>pink hair rollers before! I think he�s some kinda
>terrorist or somethin, I�m gonna email the FBI
>(anonymously of course, I wouldn�t want anyone I know
>to think I�m some kinda troublemaker) and tell them
>they oughtta keep an eye on THAT guy for sure! Or
>maybe I�ll call my lawyer and sue him. He was talking
>in one of those funny languages, and I�m SURE he was
>talking bad about me. I should sue him for slander,
>don�t you think? I mean, never mind that he was on the
>phone, he HAD to be talking about me.
>
>And another thing, I�m not even gonna get to go to a
>pageant this weekend cause my husband says he needs
>the money for rent and stuff. That�s so unfair, even
>though those lousy pageant directors cheat and lie and
>talk about people behind their backs and they make
>thousands on those pageants somehow, like that one
>last weekend. So what if they only had about 15 people
>and the entry fee was only $59.95, but they�re making
>money hand over fist, you better believe it. Don�t ask
>me how, I was never very good at math, but I KNOW
>thay�re making tons of money from us poor pageant moms.
>
>So what if I spent a couple thousand on a dress and a
>couple thousand more on a coach and new headshots for
>my daughter? That�s IMPORTANT stuff, she�s only gonna
>be 2 years old once you know, and our shelves still
>have an empty spot of two we could fit a crown into. I
>NEED my pageants, I mean, SHE needs her pageants cause
>she�ll grow up twisted and unhappy unless she gets
>that positive affirmation from a bunch of strangers
>(that�s what they were talking about on Oprah
>yesterday, so it must be important) cause if she feels
>rejected by that prissy buncha girls on the
>cheerleading squad then she�ll feel rejected her whole
>life and won�t ever get over it! Ummm� I mean, that
>COULD happen to her if I don�t have her in a pageant
>every weekend now, it�s not like I was talking about
>ME or anything, of course not! I�m mad that you would
>think so!
>
>That�s another thing for me to be ticked off about, so
>watch out! I have a lot of bitterness and hostility to
>let out and I need an outlet! (I saw that on Jenny
>Jones last week, you know, so it must be important to
>have an outlet.)
>
>So ya�ll just sit back and watch, I�m cooking up a
>whole NEW batch of lies to tell about somebody so I
>can vent, I just haven�t decided who to tell them
>about yet! Make sure you don�t get your little ole
>self onto my bad side, or I�ll just have to tell all
>them lies about you, like how you kick your dog, and
>how you tore that tag off your mattress and how you
>are a chronic overeater (it MUST be true, I saw you
>have a Twinkie at a pageant once!) and how you hogged
>all the Freeze-It at the last pageant!
>
>So be careful I don�t decide to take all this out on
>you! Now, I have to get over to Wal Mart and get a new
>outfit for church tonight. The preacher is having a
>Bible study about being hypocritical and two-faced and
>all, and I can�t wait to see the looks on those
>people�s faces when he gets started. SOME of those
>folks over there really need a good talking to about
>that you know!
>
>Bye bye for now, but I�ll be back!

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[> [> nt -- ttt, 11:00:11 07/04/02 Thu

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