VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 20:52:02 07/15/02 Mon
Author: moondreamer
Subject: Dreams - 5
In reply to: moondreamer 's message, "Dreams (PG13)" on 16:27:20 06/29/02 Sat

Chapter 5

Sara drove swiftly back to the station, but her consciousness was on autopilot. She could hear Jake griping in her ear, but somehow, she just couldn’t make herself focus on his words. She was, instead, tormented by the question of what she was going to do about Nottingham.

She wanted to somehow let him know how much she appreciated him, but didn’t know how to go about it. That bothered her even more. How did she ever get to this point? What made such a simple act of kindness such a difficult step for her? Had she really become so isolated? So untrusting?

“Jake.” Sara interrupted Jake’s flow of words. “Jake, shut up for a minute. I need an honest answer here. Am I really so hard to get along with?”

Jake looked at Sara in amazement. “Woah, where did that come from? Hey Pez, you’re just…you know…you.”

Sara arched one delicate eyebrow in his direction. “And just what did that not mean?”

Jake shrugged. “Everybody has a rep, Pez. You’re practically a legend you know.”

“Great. I think. But what kind of legend?”

“Look, you may be difficult to work with, I’m not alone in saying that. But, you get results. Damn solid results. That’s what counts.” Uncomfortable with being pressed like this, Jake shifted in his seat and looked out the window.

“So.” Sara swallowed. “I’m difficult to work with.” She honed in on the first part of his sentence, ignoring the rest.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Jake knew he was getting in over his head and looked around for a way out.

“Well, just what did you mean it like?”

Exasperated, Jake took a deep breath. “It’s just…you’re a really private person, Sara. It takes a long time to get to know you on any level. Even when you go out and have a beer with everyone you are always somehow distant.”

Sara looked out the window at the road ahead of her, and felt her focus shift once again. Her thoughts turning inward as she absorbed this latest bit of unwelcome news. She didn’t try to different, dammit. She had never wanted to be set apart from everyone else. It just always seemed to happen that way. Her whole freaking life seemed to always come back to this.

For a while, things almost seemed to have changed, she almost felt accepted in the early days of being an officer. It was hard being a woman in a man’s world. Difficult to find the best way to turn down an offer to date another officer and still work well with them. But she thought she had walked that fine line and done a damn fine job of it.

Then, later, she had been so happy working with Danny. He was married and had a life of his own. The pressure was off. For the first time in ages she could relax, and just be herself. But as she worked more and more closely with Danny she found it harder and harder to mesh with the others. Harder to let her guard down and open up.

Jake, well, once she got past the bed issue with Jake she just didn’t know what it was he wanted from her. She got so many mixed messages from him, and had so many doubts about him. Something just didn’t seem right. Something just didn’t want her to let down her walls. And with the addition of The Witchblade – it made it all that much harder. It made the differences between her and others even greater. Made the distance that much wider.

Now, here she was, trying to connect with her stalker for god’s sake. Trying to form a human connection with a man she really didn’t even know if he was human. And she was failing, miserably. Again.

Pulling up to the station, Sara coughed and looked over at Jake.

“Go ahead and go in, Rookie. I’ve got some stuff I got to do.”

Jake looked at her closely and he started to exit the car. Man, was that Pezzini? She almost looked like she was going to start crying or something.

“Uh, like Sara. You aren’t upset at anything I said are you?” Concern was evident in Jake’s voice.

“Upset? Come on Jake, remember, it’s me here? The legend.” Sara plastered yet another phony smile on her face and “Go in and get started on those files again. I’ll catch up to ya tomorrow.”

Eager to buy into her fiction, Jake just nodded his head and shut the car door. He didn’t look back and missed seeing Sara put her head down on the steering wheel. In that one moment all her defenses were nowhere to be found.

The moment passed quickly, though. Sara raised her head and wiped the tears away from her face quickly and squared her shoulders.

“Never let them see ya sweat Pezzini. Remember that.”

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.