A Biblical Parable -- KILL CHRISTIANITY DEAD!!!

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Date Posted: 16:54:57 12/02/00 Sat
Author: Bill Graham
Subject: A Biblical Parable

I just felt like sharing.......

Once upon a time along time ago before the government decommissioned the USS Independence we had a port call at Pattaya Beach, Thailand. Now during this port call me and a buch of buddies went out to fuck and drink. And fuck and drink we did, all day and all night until about midnight when the little E-3 children had to return to the ship and Jason and I were left alone. Now by this time Jason had been drinking since 9am so he was blitzed beyond belief. I had ceased drinking around 7pm so I had sobered up quite a bit. So off Jason and I went hoping from open air bar to strip club to bizarre sex show until we came upon a little hole in wall bar and Jason decided he needed another drink, so in we went. As we walked into the bar it was loud and noisy but not too crowded. We sat down at the bar and Jason ordered his usual jack&coke, barely able to sit up on his stool. I turned around to see what was going on when I saw the strangest shit I had ever seen up until that time, a thai woman, small and petite and average but not unattractive, betting people that they couldn't shit on her face!! The customers would make their bets and she would lie on the floor and they would squat over her face with their pants around their ankles and try as hard as they could to shit but for some reason they couldn't. They would squeeze and squeeze as hard as they could but nothing would come out!! After watching this for awhile I figured out why they couldn't do it, she was blowing on their assholes!! (for those who don't know when air gits your asshole it contracts and closes up preventing you from shitting) I thought about this for awhile and then got a brilliant idea!! I turned to Jason and started buying him more and more drinks. After awhile he turns to me and slurs, "I gotta take a shit." I said, "wait here a moment." I got up walked over to the Thai woman and bet her $300 that Jason could shit on her and walked back over to Jason and asked, "you gotta shit?" He says, "I gotta shit." I proceeded to tell him about the bet and asked him if he thought he could do it. His only reply was, "I gotta shit." So I walked him over to the middle of the room helping him to balance himself. When we got there the woman layed down on the floor and Jason dropped his pants and tried to take them off but fell over. Sitting on his ass on the dirty floor he crawled outta them and tried to stand back up and fell down again. I helped him up and he squted over the woman and said "gotta shit." The thai woman blew up on his asshole but Jason was too drunk to feel it and unleashed the nastiest, soggiest shit i've ever seen!! the woman jumped up screaming in thai spitting out soggy shit from her mouth and ran out the door. Jason stumbled over to the bar and asked for some shit paper, I walked over and collected my $600 from the guy holding the money and Jason got a standing ovation from everyone in the bar and didn't have to by another drink the rest of the night. And we all lived happily ever after.....

~~The End~~

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Replies:

Re: A Biblical Parable -- RON, 23:53:49 12/02/00 Sat
- Been there done, but they don't seem to understand it. (NT) -- Neener Neener, 08:20:20 12/03/00 Sun
  - Now why doesn't that surprise me? ;o) -- RON, 23:40:55 12/03/00 Sun