| Subject: My two cents... |
Author:
Samantha
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Date Posted: 19:32:47 05/27/02 Mon
In reply to:
Ambrosia
's message, "Rate this plz..." on 18:30:02 05/27/02 Mon
That was really good, the reader can definatly tell you're not a beginner. Some people prefer smaller posts, because they don't have to read so much. What I would do, though, is add a bit more description. Describe where she is, so if someone replies, they can play off that and add some description too. It gives a bit more dimension to the character actually being plausable. And if she's hiding in the shadows or something, then it sort of implys what kind of character you want to respond to you. What I do to make my posts seem longer [can't believe I'm gunna give away my secret, lol] is keep only one idea per sentance. One sentance about what s/he's looking at, one sentance about the color of his/her coat, one sentance about his/her tail/mane, one sentance about his/her ears. Then it's sort of elongated, but still descriptive. Another thing you can try describing is the actions. How is she walking? Is she confident? Is she nervous? Are her steps perfect, or is she tapping some stones, or breaking some dried leaves? If you want your character to convey stealth and perhaps even evilness, you state that they've calculated their motions and avoided the twigs and stones. If you want the character to seem nervous or scared, they hit the stones and twigs without noticing. These kidns of things convey emotions really well, so that you don't have to state them out front. You don't have to say 'she feels scared,' you can -show- it. No one says "I feel scared" they act scared. You get the difference? But all in all, your post was wonderful. But if you want to make it sound smarter, make it sound longer. That's what I do, especially when I'm lazy, lol.
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