THE BUFFYVERSE GUIDE TO DATING, PART DEUX (Spoilers for BTVS thru S6, ANGEL thru "Rain of Fire") -- Better Buffy Fics

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Date Posted: 13:05:34 02/10/03 Mon
Author: Gyrus
Subject: THE BUFFYVERSE GUIDE TO DATING, PART DEUX (Spoilers for BTVS thru S6, ANGEL thru "Rain of Fire")

THE BUFFYVERSE GUIDE TO DATING, PART DEUX (Spoilers for BTVS thru S6, ANGEL thru "Rain of Fire")

Guys, whether you're on the Hellmouth or in demon-infested L.A., looking for Miss Right is like searching for a needle in a kerosene-soaked, flaming haystack while naked. To make things a bit easier, consult this helpful guide to the women of the Buffyverse.

Type: Popular girls
Advantages: Look good on your arm
Disadvantages: Probably ashamed of you
Warning: How much do you really want to know about shoes?

Type: Nerdettes
Advantages: All the technical skills of nerds, plus cute button noses
Disadvantages: Tech-speak when calm, incoherent babbling when nervous
Warning: Will choose a street punk or a musician if you don't act quickly.

Type: Witches
Advantages: Cool spells; intriguing bisexual vibe
Disadvantages: Stinky herbs; bisexual vibe may actually be homosexual vibe
Warning: Piss her off, and you might as well buy yourself a Habitrail.

Type: Vampires
Advantages: Pretty on the outside
Disadvantages: Chilly on the inside
Warning: Necking not recommended.

Type: Seers
Advantages: Helpful visions
Disadvantages: Visions never include lottery numbers
Warning: May boff your unnatural offspring when you're not looking - or when you are.

Type: Vengeance demons
Advantages: Can teleport to the store when you run out of pretzels
Disadvantages: Veininess; may disembowel your friends
Warning: Do you really need a warning?

Type: Slayers
Advantages: Nice legs; won't keep making you move the couch
Disadvantages: Bad hours; tend to come home covered in demon goo
Warning: Hard on the windows, the ego, and the lower back.

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Replies:

[> :) yes it is hard to find a good woman, also in Sunnydale it seems :) -- lakrids, 16:08:29 02/10/03 Mon

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[> Re: *applause* -- DeepaD, 23:15:54 02/12/03 Wed

I suggest you post this on a board like the Cross and Stake, or somewhere else where it will get read more widely. It certainly deserves to be.
*grin*
Deepa D.

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[> [> Re: *applause* -- Gyrus, 10:30:36 02/13/03 Thu

>I suggest you post this on a board like the Cross and
>Stake, or somewhere else where it will get read more
>widely. It certainly deserves to be.

Aw, shucks.

But isn't the C&S board mainly for the discussion of spoilers? I'm trying to live spoiler-free these days.

-- Gyrus

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[> [> [> Re: *applause* -- Gyrus, 10:39:11 02/13/03 Thu

>Aw, shucks.

I meant "Aw, shucks" in the pleased-but-humble sense, not the "dagnabbit" sense. (I enclosed the word "blush" in angle brackets after that sentence, but it didn't appear in the message. I must have violated some rule of HTML.)

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