| Subject: Re: 意見(詳見內文)英文唔差,大概去到C等級(If luckily that right question & keep your standard)。 |
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板主
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Date Posted: 19:08:45 02/23/03 Sun
In reply to:
cyrus814
's message, "我又想知我英文大概去到邊" on 08:14:30 02/22/03 Sat
General Comments
1. Grammar mistakes spotted. (Refer to below)
2. Some vocabulary are too complicated that you commit mistakes (say, misused as a result. Simple vocab recommended especially UE emphasize on "logic" than "vocab".
3. Some points are unclear. Resulted in misunderstanding by makers.
4. Other small comments in #(blankets).
“Because so much information is available on the Internet today, traditional secondary schools and teachers are no longer necessary” do you agree or disagree this statement? Write an essay on this topic,stating your opinion and supporting it with at least three reasons.
>d人成日話我d 文最多d到...as
>level喎....希望大家睇下係唔係真0既
>
An "Affront" #(Does it mean "insult"? I don't understand your meaning even after checking the dictionary!)to Education
>
>With the rapid development of information technology,
>everything has been revolutionized by applying the use
>of computers and the Internet in the contemporary
>world. Even some may blatantly suggest the teachers be
>resigned, schools be shut down and be replaced by
>computers due mainly to the massive quantity of
>information available on the Internet. Plausible as it
>may seem, we cannot put its implications too strongly.
>#(Good introduction)
>
> Under no circumstance can the Internet supersede the
>school and teachers in terms of their functions. It is
>a naked truth to describe the Internet as a treasure
>island of knowledge. By clicking the mouse, a spate of
>information both latest and detailed beyond our
>imagination will pop up within a few seconds in the
>screen. How convenient the Internet is! But, does it
>mean the teachers and the schools should then be
>superseded? Of course not! Studying in schools learns
>a vast number of things on top of the knowledge come
>from books. You may learn the communication skills by
>chatting with your classmates, which cannot be
>achieved by sitting in front of the screens. Besides,
>the functions of the teachers advocated by Chinese
>such as imparting sorts of knowledge, equipping
>students to have better chances for employment and
>answering their questions can never been achieved by
>the dead machine.
>
> The virtue of the Internet is, ironically, its vice.
>Since there is much information provided for the
>students, simultaneously, information with violence,
>pornography and unethical #(What is "unethnical"? Too general, should be with clear explanation!) messages will also appear when using the computers to surf the Internet. >Now that the information is not deliberately filtered by
>the teachers#(by teachers? How? By some software/machine itself more convincing), students especially the junior who are generally innocent, impressionable and without
>critical thinking #(logical problem---Junior="innocent, impressionable and without critical thinking" ?!!? In other words, it is more convincing:"that most children who are physically mature but mentally not, are exposed to unhealthy information" rather than stating general "comments" without "prove/evidence"*Extreme important for Argumative writing!)thereby being probably indoctrinated#(Not right tone for "indoctrination" as we can only use for "Ideology"e.g. Nazis or communism than for "Information"!!!)
>with wrong notions, say, tending to regard the
>#(Delete "the"-No need to use article "the")
>violence as a means to eliminate hurdles when more
>time is spent on the Internet#(With violence games" will be more convincing!-->Lost points with irrelevant evidences).
>Traditionally, under the nurture of teachers and schools, students with right values #(Are you sure "school=right value"? Have you heard the news that one HK teachers teach porn & foul language in class?) are to the society what the pillars are to a house. In contrast, students would be a potential danger to our society thanks to#(Careful use of Ironic words-some words can't be use in negative situation!)
>the culprit—the Internet. In this connection, can the Internet supersede the teachers? Never!#(logic problem-"Never say never"!)
>
> The ideology of human omnipotence#(全能的?Where doi you find this thinking? Possibly misused-I am not sure!) will be collapsed spontaneously with respect to superseding teachers. It is undeniable to say human is as omnipotent as the god in both western and Chinese Confucian ideology in
>terms of wisdom and morals. Of the humans, teachers
>are the instance achieving the abovementioned
>criteria. Should the teachers be superseded by
>computers, this kind of representative significance
>will be lost. Simultaneously, the status of human has
>been cast doubt on. But more importantly, the
>replacement has indoctrinated the ideology of human
>being subject and inferior to a dead
>machine—computer. How ridiculous it is! This is
>conspicuously a kind of stigma to human as well as
>education.#(This idea/point is too weak to mention!)
>
> Of course, the computers are the useful tools to
>make work efficiently in terms of education, in
>particular for elucidating those abstract and
>intangible concepts. But however#("no matter how"-would be better) useful it is, it does
>not imply teachers will then be useless and should be
>replaced. Perhaps we should strike a balance between
>the role of teachers and computers, or can they
>coexist?
#(*Question say "traditional school & teacher no longer necessary" does not mean/may notmean that "teacher be useless"! Dangerous as you seem misinterpret the question!"traditional teacher" not equal to all teachers!So, should focus on how traditional school/teacher be "transformed" by Internet!)
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