I cannot barter my sister, unfortunately. -- Will we get pregnant?

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:40:33 06/13/02 Thu
Author: Dhul Fiqaar
Subject: I cannot barter my sister, unfortunately.
In reply to: Moshe the Pork Dealer 's message, "Perhaps I can trade for your sister, but I will have to consult the Rebbe first." on 14:37:20 06/13/02 Thu

She is past the age allowed by the Quran. As I have turned my 40th year, and she is just twentyfive years older of me, then it not proper to barter her because she is unable to bear a child. Her only wish is to be once more a virgin before she is dead of her various diseases.

But it is very good camel semen I have on hand, delicious in soups and sauces if not needed to inseminate female camels. Now in the market one might expect to pay, eh, 20 Syrian piasters per decaliter, or 3.5 Omani rial per kilogram...I am thinking this is roughly, er, 300 Kuwaiti fils per British hogshead?

Allah knows I try not to dissemble but camel semen is almost never properly listed on the Stock Exchange of New York City in dollars and cents. Istekhara, but what can a poor Muslim do?

To my brothers in the Struggle, Assalamu Alaikum! Peace be upon you! Today the youth of my town have struck the Oppressors of Islam mightily! They have places portions of, eh, chewing gum where the armored tanks of the Israeli will drive upon them. Thereafter the vehicles of the Opressors make an annoying 'tac...tac...tac' sound which will surely make the drivers insane. La Ilaha Illallah!

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
(In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful)
Dhul Fiqaar

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

What if you let me have my way with your sister, then I send her to my son, the plastic surgeon? -- Moshe the Pork Dealer, 17:13:30 06/13/02 Thu
- Praise Allah, it is always difficult for me to speak to my sister. She has a powerful personality. -- Dhul Fiqaar, 17:21:57 06/14/02 Fri