The Catholic spin on the matter... -- The Drunks Bar

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Date Posted: 01:45:25 04/27/01 Fri
Author: SM78
Subject: The Catholic spin on the matter...
In reply to: NKLS Cody 's message, "If god is passing "judgement" for man making those acts legal..." on 15:35:45 04/26/01 Thu

Catholics understand global warming, antibiotic resistant viruses, foot and mouth, earthquakes, etc. as a series of punishments from God. They claim that if people will turn to God, via the Catholic Church, and say the Rosary, adore the Holy Mother, go to confession, etc., that God will stop these punishments.

Of course, the observation that earthquakes, floods, and the extinction of species occurred for millenia before man ever appeared does not occur to the Catholics.

So what are we to make of the pre-man catasthrophes? Was God punishing amoebas, dinosaurs, and crustaceans for their acts of hubris? Was YHWH punuishing single celled organisms for not saying the rosary and praying for world peace?

And what of the mollusks that worshipped false Gods?

It is all so very troubling that I shall now offer intercessory prayer to right these prehistoric rebellions against God:

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us mollusks now
and in the hour of our death.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of flagelletes
the tyrannosaurae worship thee
and repent of eating smaller lizards

Holy Mary, Mater of Volcanoes,
Spray us not with lava or steam
but deliver us from evolution
that man may find no transitional forms
in the archeological strata of our death.

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Replies:

Sorry... -- Jay Hovah, 09:37:44 04/27/01 Fri