Disney Trips? -- <font size = "4">The Drunks Bar </font size "4">

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Date Posted: 23:43:54 07/30/03 Wed
Author: Reverend E. Dwayne Looper
Subject: Disney Trips?
In reply to: Kathy 's message, "At least he's not GAY!!" on 17:48:42 07/30/03 Wed

Would to God that secular America understood that a man of God has the right to take dozens of young teenage girls to Disney World all by himself. I myself have done it many, many times sans the Disney pajamas. It builds togetherness and I role model what a Christian husband should be like for these girls.

I am chivalrous: They are my princesses.

I am generous: I pay for everything.

I am thoughtful: I furnish all of their swimsuits.

I am strong: I lift them onto rides.

And if they have intimate questions about boys and dating, who better than I to answer? Why just last week Lucinda Mavens, age 14, asked me what a penis looked like, so I showed her mine. There was no lust involved; it was simply an anatomy lesson. Then I told her that I had never seen what the breasts on a 14 year old girl looked like so she showed me hers. What harm could there possibly be in Christians teaching Christians so that we do not have to learn from the wicked world?

Of course, the media distorted all of this when it was found out. Fortunately her single mother -- whom I have helped over the years -- supports me and has formed a prayer chain. In fact, I am going to see Lucinda's mother this weekend when I go over to her house to fix her broken washing machine. I may also minister Christ's love to her in other unspecified, yet godly, ways. Likewise, she ministers to me and was the first woman who showed me what pubic hair trimmed in the shape of a heart looked like. This kindness kept me from having to go into a nude dance bar or dirty book store to satisy this innocent curiosity.

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Replies:

Geez, another one of those guys that hasn't grown out of the "Mommy Parts are icky and scary!" phase... -- Sister Regina Dentata, 10:13:01 08/02/03 Sat

What's this? Equal time for clitorii? -- Reverend E. Dwayne Looper, 10:08:59 08/03/03 Sun

yer mummy parts wud git all de ate aute auut it git polwd rit by a savd in de fesh cuntr fellur -- pikkkir, 13:43:53 08/06/03 Wed