Jokes to Lighten the Day -- Dragons Of Virtue

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Date Posted: 01:53:06 10/08/02 Tue
Author: Mr Joker
Subject: Jokes to Lighten the Day

One day a blonde guy comes home and hears strange noise's from the
bedroom and so rushes upstairs to see what was wrong. When he open's
the door he sees his wife naked on the bed sweating and panting.
"What's going on?" he asked. "I'm having a heart attack" replied
his wife. So the man rushes down stair's and pick's up the phone.
As he's about to dial his little boy say's "Daddy, uncle Tom's
hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on." So the man
slam's the phone down and goes back to the bedroom, passes
his screaming wife and open's the closet door.
Sure enough his brother is sitting on the floor of the closet
cowering. "You rotten bastard" he said, "my wife's having a
heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kid's"

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A mother of two 16 year old blonde daughters had just bought a new
house in a new town. So they were buying paint, shades and all that
you would need for a new place. The mother left the house to go
shopping. She told the girls that she wanted them to paint the family
room but, NOT get any paint on their clothes. After the mother left
the two daughters decided that they should just take off all their
clothes to obey their mother. So there they were painting naked when
they heard a knock at the door. So they both went to the door and said
"Who is it?" The reply was " The blind man." So the two blondes
thought ... He's blind, so he won't be able to see us naked. They let
him in. The man said "Nice tits lady, now where do you want the
blinds?"

Once a man walked naked in a bathroom holding 2 bars of soap. When
three blondes walked in, he got so afraid and hid behind a vending
machine.

The first blonde says, "lets see what they have in the vending
machine," so she pulls the lever. The man gets afraid and drops
one bar of soap.
The blonde says "hey I got a bar of soap."

The second blonde also gets a bar by pulling the lever.

Now the third blonde she pulls the lever but she doesn't get
anything. She starts to cry and the other two blondes start to walk
away, the blonde starts pulling the lever again and again in
frustration, suddenly she stops crying and runs up to her friends
and says, "hey look I got some lotion."

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A blonde goes into a telegram office to send a message to her mother who is visiting relatives overseas. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother!"
To that the man asks, "Anything?"
And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!"
With that, the man says, "Follow me."
He takes her into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."
She does.
He then says, "Get on your knees."
She does.
He then says, "Take down my zipper."
She does.
He then says, "Go ahead, take it out." With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"
She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"

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