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Date Posted: 23:34:44 11/27/00 Mon
Author: Carmen 'The pita' Valentine
Subject: So cruel, just when you thought you knew all the answers about Carmen. (Repost)



(>*She hated flying, the idea of going down to her earthbound or watery grave made little to no-sense to s. Valentine. All the men she had 'helped' achived the same fate throughout the years always weighed heavily on her mind but for the love on money she continued her quest and habit. But was Carmen really a bad person, to her she only thought not; she only married men over the age of 70 with high insurance policies! They had one foot in the hole anyway so why not help em on in?! Lawyers, political leaders, Astronauts all she had married and quickly widowed. However the constant bothering of FBI agents, Samuel Bledsoe and Morgan Goivanni now tired Carmen to no end. The very thought of being placed into a women's correctional facilty with most likely a span of 54 life terms to serve didn't set well with the PITA, in fact when ever she thought about it she felt more like she had just gobbled down a nutty buddy then foolishly consumed a fruity treat known around nation as a pair, she sould feel the bubbling in her stomach some chick named oddly enough Deloris making Carmen her "girlfriend" just the sheer thought of being taken by another woman caused Carmen to quickly skim through her purse for another cigerette, she scrambled through her purse then pulled up her box of Misty's taking a cancer stick from the small white and pink box she notices a card fall from behind the packaging. It sat there on top of the many other things in her purse, just the normal things a woman would carry around really, a pistol, a small hand-grenade, a bottle of mace, deeds to homes and a stun gun, however the card kept her attention longer than a crowd to Stephanie Conners rear end, as she though about the name on the small peice of glossed over paper, PSY-Tim Dozajokia, that man had almost driven Carmen to the brink of insanity if she haden't decided that she was too tired to kill his wife and then marry him she probably would have and considerted it a mercy killing, he urked her! A man that truly made her wish she had a tubes clipped, tied or just "SNATCHED THE F*CK OUT!" She didn't wish to bore into life a feeble man like him into this world, less be called a "bitch" for the many sonofvabitch comments that would surly be focued his way. How long was this plane going to make her wait, two or three more hours and Carmen figured she could have high-jacked a private jet and flew herself. Yet that fear of flying was still there...she thought over her match up for this Wednesday and snarled.."How dare those limp jerk-offs put me in a three way! Ahhhh "Flight 107 boarding in 24 minutes" just great, 24 more she'd have to waste out of her life, she thought once again at what had made her and the psych she went to see a few days back...her as far back she could..and luckyly we'll be able to see this...she thinks back first to her childhood as far as she could and back to the age of 16, Carmen a headstrong, long-haired beauty, is surrounded at a study table by her uniformed classmates, one of which, Delia, is the group skeptic.*<)

/A boarding school in London\

Carmen:First of all Delia, my father is much younger than he looks. And
second of all, you're completely missing the point.

(>*A LIBRARIAN across the way shushes the girls, forcing Carmen to lower
her voice to a dramatic whisper<*)

Carmen:Once my father got inside Ghengis Khan's tomb, he thought he was home free.

(>*We go to Ghengis' tomb, Revealed in Lord Valentines FLASHLIGHT is Khan's decrepit MUMMY.
Clutching a crudely-fashioned CEREMONIAL DRUM.*<)

Carmen (Voice over): But as soon as he took the sacred drum from Khan's bony clutches...

(>*Lord Valentine admires his prize stolen from the mummy.*<)

Carmen (VO):He set off the worst trap of all.

(>*Sections of the antechamber's tile floor are falling away, dropping
down into an INFINITE ABYSS now exposed.Lord Valentine takes a deep breath. Picks out the only route imaginable across the precarious checkerboard floor...and sprints for the entry
hole, drum cradled in his arms! With each step the tile floor breaks away beneath him! Forcing Lord Valentine to snatch the drum in his teeth...and leap for the entry hole
with both hands! *<)

Carmen (VO):Then, just as the wall was giving way...

(>*Lord Valentine claws desperately at the crumbling wall. Eyes widening with
rlief when a WIRE LADDER dangles into view.*<)

Carmen (VO): My mother came to the rescue again.

(>*LADY Vivian Valentine, a spirited 40-something woman who expertly helms
the family chopper. Lady Vivian stares down at the mountainside entry
hole where Lord Croft is climbing to safety on the wire ladder
attached to the helicopter's underbelly.*<)

Carmen (VO): There was still one problem. And it was a big one, the Mongolian Army.

(>*Lady Vivian notices DOZENS OF MONGOL SOLDIERS cresting the
mountaintop. Armed to the teeth. Sights on Lord Valentine.


(>*Hanging on with one hand to the wire ladder, Lord Valentine uses his spare
hand to unload an endless UZI CLIP on the soldiers.*<)

Delia (VO):I don't buy it for a minute.

(>*All eyes are on Delia as she tries to debunk Carmen's story.*<)

Delia: If that drum is so bloody valuable, why'd your parents send it to you?

(>*All eyes now turn back to Carmen as she returns the volley*<)

Carmen: Easy. If you were the Mongolian Army wouldn't my dorm room be the last place you'd look?

(>*While Delia mulls that one, Carmen spots a black BENTLEY ARNAGE arriving
in the parking lot outside. Her eyes suddenly beam.*<)

Carmen:To be continued. I gotta go.

(>*Carmen races away without explanation...we pan across a floor-to-ceiling bookcase filled with odd SOUVENIRS from around the world, all lovingly displayed. As a woman's hand removes
one of the souvenirs we meet LADY VIVIAN VALENTINE in her formal, elegant,
real-world attire.

LADY VIVIAN: Look at this, Desmond. Every little trinket we've sent back she's got on
display like the Crown Jewels.

(>*LORD DESMOND VALENTINE is a stately business magnate but hardly a
raider. Unlike his wife, Lord Valentine is far more interested in the OLD
trunk across the room, overflowing with sports trophies, plus various
academic plaques and certificates. He examines a "1st Place"
GYMNASTICS TROPHY.*<)

LORD VALENTINE: Viv, I don't think our little girl's ever come in second.

(>*Carmen bolts inside, winded from her run across school.*<)

Carmen:I don't believe it...

(>*Lord Valentine gives Carmen a short, polite embrace.*<)

Carmen: I thought you two were off on pressing business somewhere?

(>*Lady Vivian holds onto her daughter a little longer.*<)

LADY VIVIAN:Carmen, you didn't really think we'd miss your 16th birthday?

Carmen:(plays dumb) Oh, is that today?

(>*Both her parents chuckle at Carmen's wit.*<)

LADY VIVIAN:We brought another souvenir to add to your very impressive collection.

(>*Lord Valentine hands Carmen a small, unwrapped box. Pulling off the lid,
Carmen's face scrunches quizzically: a new passport.

LORD VALENTINE:Someday it'll be filled cover-to-cover, just like ours.

(>*He looks at Lady Vivian, who nods in agreement.*<)

LADY VIVIAN: Well I think we should break it in, don't you, Desmond?

Carmen:(suspicious but hopeful) What are you saying, Mother?

LORD VALENTINE:The provost has assured us you're so far ahead in your studies that your
professors will actually welcome your absence for a week. So they can catch up to you.

Carmen:A family trip!? Where're we going?

LORD VALENTINE:Anywhere in the world.

LADY VIVIAN:It's your choice, Carmen.

(>*What a tough decision for Lara, who thoughtfully peruses all the
exotic souvenirs her parents have sent her over the years.*<)

Carmen:Everywhere you've been...I've dreamed of going.

(>*Carmen finally settles on the TIBETAN DRUM (from Carmen's story), then
turns to her parents and smiles. Decision made. A sleek Gulfstream III -- emblazoned with "VALENTINE INDUSTRIES" -- soars through the jagged, pristine white mountaintops.*<)

Carmen (VO):I want to ski Mount Annapurna. No one's ever skied there before.

LADY VIVIAN (VO):Carmen, do you even know how to ski?

Carmen (VO): That's the fun of it -- I'll learn.

(>*Carmen sits on the floor (dressed in an almost tomboyish manner), her
back against a small sofa from where Lady Vivian enjoys braiding her
daughter's long, lustrous hair. They're more like sisters with their
similar mannerisms and matching DIAMOND TENNIS BRACELETS. Carmen
charmingly rattles off historical facts to impress her parents.*<)

Carmen:Bet you didn't know Mount Annapurna's actually a massif with two primary peaks. Annapurna 1, the tallest, wasn't climbed from the south -- where we're going to ski --
until 1970 by the Chris Bonnington expedition.

(>*The jet's handsomely appointed interior has the feel of an English
sitting room that comfortably accommodates 8-10 passengers. Lord
Valentine, who has to duck inside the cabin, pours himself a nip of brandy
at the wet bar.*<)

LORD VALENTINE: Anything you don't know, Carmen?

Carmen:(teasing) I suppose it's possible, Father.

(>*Lord Valentine smirks as he takes a seat across from his women.*<)

LADY VIVIAN: Tell us about that drum I sent you back from Tibet?

Carmen: It's made from a human thigh bone. And it's part of an exorcism ritual. That's really all I know.


LADY VIVIAN: I attended the ritual once. Last time we were here, while your father
was concluding a deal in Nepal.

(>*This gets Carmen's attention. And Lord Valentine's.*<)

LADY VIVIAN: It was very moving. The ceremony divests the dying person of all their ego and emotions, preparing them for the next life, unencumbered.

LORD VALENTINE: I always miss the good stuff.

(>*Lord Valentine swigs the last of his brandy. Carmen peers out the window at
the enigmatic mountains while confessing:

Carmen:You want to know something funny...? For years now I've told stories at school about my parents being famous raiders -- that's how I explained why you were always away on business.(turns back to parents) My friends actually think all those souvenirs you sent me, they're all ancient treasures. Like that drum, I've almost convinced them father stole it from Ghengis Kahn's tomb.

(>*Lord Valentine gets a CHUCKLE over that one. But Lady Valentine is not amused,
seeing beneath her daughter's imagination.*<)

LADY VIVIAN:I know it's not been easy for you, Carmen, what with us abroad so often.
But from now on, we'll do better than just holiday visits. How does a family trip each month sound?

(>*Carmen looks to her father, who concedes his approval.*<)

Carmen:I can't wait for next month.

(>*LIGHTNING strikes in the darkening distance. The Gulfstream jet
disappears into a swirling miasma of low, dark clouds. The aircraft begins to shudder and sway in the turbulence. Carmen looks anxiously to her parents as a SPEAKER in the cabin squawks to life, one of the pilots addressing the Valentine's*<)

PILOT (OVER SPEAKER):Nothing to worry about, folks. Just some temperamental weather. Strap
yourselves in tight and we'll be through this in no time.

(>*Carmen glances nervously out her misted window at the storm, jumping as
LIGHTNING strikes the wing of the jet! The interior LIGHTS FLICKER.
The jet drops sudden altitude...then stabilizes. The Valentine's all exhale
in momentary relief..Lord Valentine unbuckles his seatbelt and heads for the cockpit.*<)

LADY VIVIAN:Desmond?

LORD VALENTINE:You girls stay put.

(>*Lady Vivian clutches Carmen's hand with her own. The two pilots, struggling to hold onto the shaking controls, acknowledge Lord Valentine as he slips in through the partition.*<)

LORD VALENTINE:Anything I can do?

PILOT #1:There's a portable radio in the closet. Better get it out.

LORD VALENTINE:(steps closer) What's wrong with those dials?

PILOT #2:We've lost primary power, Sir. (beat) She's going down.

(>*His jaw slackening, Lord Valentine stares out the windscreen...*<)

LORD VALENTINE:Good God.

(>*Through a sudden break in the clouds appear two oncoming mountaintops.
An unavoidable obstacle. The aircraft continues its inexorable course right between two craggy peaks...SHEARING OFF THE ENTIRE LEFT WING! Chaos ensues as the jet begins a slow barrel roll, emptying overhead bins and closets. Lady Vivian cradles Carmen tightly to her bosom, shielding her daughter as best she can before --
--SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH! The jet SLAMS into the ground with such
force the fuselage CRACKS in several places. A piece of the fuselage
strikes Lady Vivian in the head! Plowing across the snowy terrain like a runaway train -- OBLITERATING ALL TREES in its path -- the jet finally comes to precarious rest,UPSIDE DOWN, bridging a deep chasm. We close in on Carmen hanging upside down in her seat. Unconscious.
CRAAAAAAAAAK!!! The already split fuselage breaks further under the
strain of its own weight. This rouses Carmen, who struggles to orient herself. Her eyes focus in on her mother crumpled and bleeding. Carmen unbuckles her safety belt
and falls to the inverted ceiling. Scrambling through the chaotic
cabin Carmen desperately cradles her mother.

Carmen:Mother. Mother please. Please be okay.

(>*Lady Vivian's eyes flicker with dying life. Carmen rambles*<)

Carmen:I'm so sorry. I should've picked someplace else. We never should've come here. Never, ever...

(>*Lady Vivian reaches a trembling hand up to Carmen's face, gently wiping
away the tears streaking down her flushed cheeks.*<)

LADY VIVIAN: Always follow your dreams, dear.(last breath) Always...

(>*Lady Vivian expires in her daughter's arms and Carmen's sobbing gives
way to an emotional torrent of tears until ---- CRAAAAAAAAAK!!! yet again The fuselage breaks further, threatening to snap the jet right in
half. Jolted from her misery, Carmen peers out the jet window with wide
eyes, It's a 1000 stomach-turning feet to the bottom of the chasm. Carmen hears the sounds of a man GROANING somewhere near.

Carmen: FATHER!?

(>*Carmen rushes into the upended cockpit where both pilots hang dead in
their seats -- the windscreen has been shattered. Carmen sees her
father's feet, his body covered with a collapsed section of the
interior.

Carmen:Father can you hear me!?

(>*Carmen frantically extricates her father, who is groaning in pain from
the COMPOUND FRACTURE of his left leg.

LORD VALENTINE: Vivian...where's my Vivian?

(>*CRAAAAAAAAAK!!! The fuselage breaks further, increasing the incline
inside the doomed jet.*<)

Carmen:Come on, we've got to get you out!

(>*Carmen starts helping her father up towards the windscreen. Pushing him
through the jagged orifice, Carmen watches her father topple safely onto
the snowy chasm bank. Carmen starts out herself, then smartly realizes:

Carmen: Supplies. We need supplies.

(>*Moving back to the closet, Carmen starts gathering essentials (ie:
MEDKIT, SKIS, FLARE GUN, etc.) All the while the metal fuselage WHINES
under the tremendous strain...portending ---- CRAAAAAAAAAK!!! This break causes Carmen to fumble the flare gun. Hanging on, she strains to reach the weapon.*<)

LORD VALENTINE: (Outside)CARMEN GET OUT!!!

(>*Stretching that extra inch, Carmen secures the flare gun. All the supplies, flung through the windscreen, land in the snow around Lord Valentine, who's anxiously watching for...Carmen and he sees her Carmen DIVES THROUGH THE WINDSCREEN as the jet snaps in half! She tucks & rolls safely in the snow, showing off some well-honed gymnastics
moves. Together, Carmen and Lord Valentine watch in stunned silence as the
jet fuselage CRACKS once more and, with her dead mother aboard,
plummets into the chasm. Carmen steps right up to the dangerous edge, tragic witness to the jet EXPLODING IN A FIREBALL when it hits rock bottom...the Carmen focuses out of Carmen's tear filled eyes and into her eyes today, filled with a bit of water and cigerette smoke, she haden't noticed Detective Bledsoe standing in front of her.*<)




Detective Bledsoe:Mind if I ask where your off to Ms. Valentine?

Carmen:As long as you mind my not answering.

Detective:May I remind you Ms. Valentine that you are under police watch and that you indeed do need to comply with me if you wish to continue your rather foolish way of life.

Carmen:Your bugging me because you think I kill old people right?

Detective:Well if you'd like to be that blunt...yes. I myself totally believe that you killed your former 54 husbands, your aware of the charges against you, why do you ask?

Carmen:How old are you?

(>*Detective Bledsoe's eyes widen.*<)

Detective Bledsoe:just what are you trying to say!?

*Flight 107 now boarding*

Carmen:I'm saying that..that I've some bitches to beat up, and if I don't get on my plane that's boarding now. However you can very well come and arrest me after the match. Melissa Faith and Porcia Raventhorne BIG F'N WHOP!! As far as I'm concerned Melissa Faith may have a nice ass to the male populance of GWA but we'll just see what they think of it after my foot's stuck up that slapc*nts ass sideways! And as for Procia, or should I call her Pork Chop, looking at the sluts love handles I think I will...that bitch has no place in the ring she should be fighting sluts like Reina for all I care!

(>*Carmen starts quickly walking toward her gate.*<)

Detective Bledsoe:Ms.Valentine, I'd choose my words wisely if I where you.

(>*Carmen slowly turns around then walks toward Detective Bledsoe, taking her cigerette out her mouth she gets close to him, blowing smoke into his face.*<)

Carmen:Honey, I say what I want..when I want, and if you don't like it...that's the fuckin' breaks.

(>*Carmen turns toward the boarding door and walks toward it pulling behind her her rolling duffle bag.*<)

Detective Bledsoe:Well be watching...and we'll be in touch.

(>* Carmen tucks her cigerette neatly into her mouth then holds her hand up above her hand turning the palm away from Bledsoe she raises her middle finger.*<)

Carmen:Suck my non-existent groin, and don't forget the balls afterwards asshole!

(>*Carmen gets a few odd stares from passers-by and air plane attendants but continues on, handing her ticket to a attendant she turns toward Detective Bledsoe who stands there quiet.*<)

Carmen:(smirking)Hey I'll probably need a little lip action after the match, they do make me horny, why don't you stop on by after I figure four those two bitches to submission!? Better yet after your finished doing that you can kiss my freckled ass!

(>*Carmen turns around with bounce to her step as she walks down the long terminal...the scene as they mostly do fades to black.*<)



BITCH


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