Protein Diet -- The Stephens Family

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Date Posted: 13:45:40 04/18/03 Fri
Author: Cousin Jakey
Subject: Protein Diet

Well you've inspired me, I just ate 5 strips of bacon and three eggs sunny side up. I have to tell you that because i'm allergic to wheat i had go give up everything that resembles a carb. I lost so much weight so fast I went from 185 to 165 until I realized how to balance my diet with carb substitutes. You guys can do it! Try for on month not to eat anything made from flour and you'll drop weight so fast, testimony from a guy who knows.

A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip, he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!" the priest said.

"No, Father," replied the guide, "that's what kind of fish it is. It's a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch!" chimed the priest.

Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster. "Father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen" said the guide.

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch," replied the priest.

"What should I do with it?" asked the priest. "Why eat it, of course," answered the guide. "You've never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a
look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" the priest said.

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary. "Father!"

"It's OK Sister," said the priest, "that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh well, then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?" asked Sister Mary.

"Why, eat it of course," answered the priest. "The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a Bitch."

The Sister informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.

"What are you doing, Sister Mary?" asked the Friar.

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the Pope's dinner," replied Sister Mary.

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!" asked the Friar.

"No, no, no. It's called a Son of a Bitch fish - really!" claimed Sister Mary.

"Oh, well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!" replied the Friar. "Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent.

The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught the Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest. The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the sister. The Pope sat silent in disbelief.

And the Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!"

The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his face, and he said, "You fuckin guys are alright!"

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Replies:

DJ Jakey Jake -- Courtney, 11:04:26 04/23/03 Wed