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Date Posted: 13:36:48 06/26/01 Tue
Author: Lost Worlds
Author Host/IP: proxy2-external.crsncty1.nv.home.com / 24.4.255.113
Subject: Cheese

::The camera fades slowly in on the top of a hill, with the sapphire sky glaring down upon the earth. Atop the rise, there is a dark figure standing, motionless. Who is this man?! Oh. It's just Lost Worlds. You know, Lost Worlds, the guy who was stalked by Thunder Thighs for the better part of two years in two different federations. The man who blew up a Giza pyramid. The one person who.. Well, you get the gist of things. So anywho, on with the story. The camera zooms in on Lost's face. Lost has a sparkle in his eyes;the kind you only see in super heroes and Fabio. Hands on his hips, posing like a model, we hear "Cut!" ring out from behind the camera. Instantly, Lost drops his arms and begins walking to his left. The camera follows, and sees him inching his way closer to a table decorated with sprinkled donuts and cheese danishes. That sounds rather good, as a matter of fact.. Er. Lost grabs a round chocolate donut and stuffs it into his mouth. Lucky bastard. All the studio gives me is a fork and a carrot. I'm getting tired of it, too. I want some real grub! You hear me?! I'm the narrator, dammit! Without me, nobody knows what's going on! I deserve better treatment than this! I'm going to SUE. YOU HEAR ME?! SUE. Just you wait. So while I'm plotting my scheme to ruin this damn company, I'll let Frank here take over. Have fun, Frank. Thanks Robert. Okay, uh.. It's Frank. I don't know what his problem is. It's just a carrot. Sigh. So, um. Lost is kinda standing there and he's eating. Oh, here comes a guy. He looks like the director or something. He has a bullhorn, and he's yelling at people. What a jerk. So he's at the table now, and he taps Lost on the shoulder. Lost turned around and smiled. Ha. That was funny. He has chocolate all over his lips and teeth. Tee hee. The mean guy isn't laughing, though. Uh oh. This isn't good. Lets listen in::

Director:Dammit, Lost. You're not supposed to eat until the shooting is done!

Lost:But! But! I'm HUNGRY!

Director:I don't care, young man! Now you march straight to your trailer and don't come out until I say you can!

Lost:Yes sir..

::So now Lost is walking with his head down. He's going to his trailer. I wonder what they're doing? I mean, why is Lost being taped? Lets ask the director. Mister director, sir?::

Director:Yes, Frank? What is it?

::What are you doing?::

Director:I'm dancing. Dancing around a sombrero. With some chicken in my mouth and a can of beans on my foot. What does it look like I'm doing?! I'm making a commercial, you fool.

::Oh. For what?::

Director:Huh?

::What's the commercial advertising?::

Director:...um..

::Dish washing soap?::

Director:....uuh...

::Creatine?::

Director:YES! I mean.. Yes. Creatine. We're getting Lost to talk about Creatine and how it has helped him become ripped. Like Fabio.

::Suddenly, from far away::

Lost:I've never used Creatine, liar!

Director:YOU'RE GROUNDED, MISTER!

Lost:Aw..

Director:Now, we're putting him on top of this hill, here, and he's going to grab a tub of Creatine that's flying past his head.

::Wow, special effects. Doesn't that cost a lot, though?::

Director:Well.. I, uh.. Oh, shut up, Frank! You're just a narrator! Come back when you become a reporter or something!

::Fine. Jerk. So now he's walking away. Finally. He's really mean. Hm. Lets see if Lost will come out and talk to us. LOST?!::

Lost:Yeah?

::Can I please speak with you?::

Lost:Sure, I guess. But we've gotta hide. I'm grounded, and if the director finds out I'm talking to 'ya, he'll take a whip to me.

::Okay. We can hide under your bed.::

Lost:Okay. Come on in.

::So now I'm walking into Lost's trailer. There's not much in here. Just a TV and a bed, and a bathroom. Okay, so we're under your bed now.::

Lost:Yeah.

::So tell me what's going on here.::

Lost:Well.. Hey, where is Robert?

::Robert is going to rampage the place he works for.::

Lost:Oh. Okay. Well, it all started when I was sitting at home. I wasn't doing anything, except my wife. 'Ya know, the usual. And then the phone rang. I picked it up and it was this production company. They said they wanted me to be in a commercial. I said great, because I've been out of work for a very long time. I've been living off of money I saved from when I was an ultra super star. We're down to about thirteen million left. I need to stop spending so much. So, I got off the phone and finished up with Nicole, then I split. I drove down here, and they've held me hostage for the past five days. It's like an internment camp. I can't get any sleep, man. None whatsoever. So I'm stuck here while they do God knows what with their stupid cameras. And that director. Oh GOD. I hate him. He treats me like his bitch, and I'm not. I'm not his bitch! When he yells at me for eating a donut, or takin' a whiz, I just want to punch him in the eye. Bam. Make him think twice before pushing little old me around. But if I did that, his groupies would jump me and hog tie me. That would stink. So basically, I'm stuck.

::But can't you just quit?::

Lost:Quit?

::You know.. Stop working? Just leave?::

Lost:..you're a genius.

::Well, I try.::

Lost:But where's the exit?

::I think it's the same place you came in here from. You know.. The door?::

Lost:Oh YEAH. Why didn't I think of that?!

::Your mind was somewhere else, Lost. It was somewhere else.::

Lost:You're right. I'm going to quit! Right now! Man, you're a lot better than Robert. I think you should take his place.

::Well, I don't know about that..::

Lost:C'mon. You and me could make a great team! And Minion too, but he's not here.

::I'll think about it.::

Lost:Sweet. Okay, lets go!

::Will Lost make it out alive? Will I team up with him and Minion? Will Robert successfully sue his production company? Tune in next week to find out!::

TO BE CONTINUED...

That's all. Kbye.

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